A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have beening carrying a flame for my brother best friend for a long time, I was his 1st but we never dated because of my brother, we had a fling for a while without him know and hooked up again, I am now married for one year, but I think of him a lot since we never spoke about our feeling for each other, and I know my parent wished I married him instead, sometimes I wish that too. My husband knows about our past and is fine with it. How I erasing 10yrs (off and on) of feelings for some? And focus on my mariage?
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female
reader, calamitysil  +, writes (28 October 2007):
 Hmmm, difficult one. I guess the question is do you love your husband? Did you get married for the right reasons? If yes, then definitely you need to clear your mind of this other bloke and focus on your marriage. If no, this longing will take over your life and make your marriage hell on earth for both of you until you confront this other bloke and see if he matches your fantasy. It's a huge gamble and only you know deep down if he's worth breaking up your family for. It's an even bigger risk if he's in a relationship and unavailable. Good luck with whatever you decide :-)
A
female
reader, elliebellie +, writes (27 October 2007):
it might be diificult to do but you chose to marry your husband so you must stay focused on him. think of reasons why you married him. you will have to let go of your brothers best friend and it will be hard but your marriage is a lot more precious than what happened ten years ago. hope this helps
ellie
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (27 October 2007):
 Being slightly realistic. This was a fling. If it was meant to be, it would have happened. It's unfair to your husband to focus on this other person. We all have a past. We all wonder "what if", "should of", "could of", "would of", but it didn't happen that way, you're married. If you wish you could have married someone else, you shouldn't have gotten married.
Realize everyone we loved in the past develop our skills for being with current loves.
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