A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend have recently started having sex. we lost our virginity to each other and its all amazing and that, but i have 2 kinda embarrassing problems that i'm hoping more experienced guys/girls could help me with...1: When we're naked and about to get down to it, i can't find ''the hole'' easily while maintaining eye contact and that with her, and this REALLY kills the moment. sometimes i put it in and then we start and then it falls out again! i mean what the hell? i can see the humour in this but, man, its so annoying for both of us.2: sometimes we wanna have sex but my lower body has other ideas. this only happens sometimes, and i know lots of people have problems ''getting it up'' too, was just wondering are there any certain things i can eat/drink to get it up easier? (ive asked my girl if she could strip for me before we have sex, but shes kinda nervous and i dont wanna push her into things she dont wanna do)any help/suggestions will be very appreciated. thanks x Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2009): Just relax and enjoying the learning experience, holding up to an image just isnt what should be done. communication and practice it whats makes people get more confident and comfortable. enjoy the learning experience and if needed jest to her that its stimulating for you if she were to help you. I find it natural when my partner has to occiasionally use his hand to guide it in.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): If it's visual stimulation you need, you need to get her to put stuff on, not take it off, such as stockings, suspenders and heels!
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A
female
reader, trigger18 +, writes (27 October 2009):
first of all make sure that you are both warmed up properly ie a bit of foreplay to begin with and then you'll both loosen up a bit and that will make things easier. secondly unless you're pretty quick to finish don't wear a johnny because you can't feel anything and that will make things harder for you. Plan ahead for the night or if you're comfortable pleasure yourself during the day which will make things better for the both of you. as for getting it in with the lights out why don't you ask your g/f to go on top first because then she knows exactly where to go to put it in. and then it will make it easier to get it in when shes on her back. or hold it and and tease her in that area until you get it in because she will like that. as for slipping out try and concentrate more because when you're not concentrating it goes up and down and this is what causes the slipping. You're trying to concentrate on not finishing and that's why it goes down and slips out. If you're really worried about not getting up then see your gp just to keep your mind at peace that nothing's wrong. If there's nothing wrong then there is the easy alternative of extra help like viagra however be careful where you get it from like the internet because there are so many fake ones or ones that aren't what they seem to be. With all that said good luck with your new sex life with your g/f and have fun x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 October 2009):
Hi there. First of all, relax. There are plentu of people who have faced these problems before, and it's just about experience, so give it time and don't be stressed about it all.
1) Use your hands, or get her to use hers to gently guide you in. Do it slowly so it doens't go all over the place. But your hands can be of use here, just helping to guide it to the right place.
2) Well done for not pressurzing her. that's important, and it will make her feel more relaxed about herself, causing less problems later. It's natural for a man not to be able to keep it up all the time. There isn't really much you can eat or drink. However, make sure you're eating healthily. Junk food makes you unhealthy, and can affect performance. Also, avoid alchohol, because this relaxes the muscles, which isn't what you want at the moment of truth. Foreplay is the key, and it's important you don't worry, and you feel relaxed. Most of all, spend time getting to know what you both like. That's the best way to gain experience and to really make sure it's enjoyable. Have fun, and do it safely as well.
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