A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am losing my friends over their dogs. I am not originally from the USA. It’s in not common to have pets at home in my country so I can’t deal with it now. It is like a torture to me when I see people walk with their dogs in the places that they are allowed and on top of that they don’t clean after them. I can’t enjoy sitting on the lawns while a big poop is sitting in front of me and staring in to my eyes! If I go somewhere that they have pet I get really uncomfortable I can’t sit on the sofa if I see their pet is sitting there because I imagine a wet dog after poop comes to home and sit there.I don’t know how people can handle the smell and hair all over their houses all the time. I can’t eat something even though I force myself to eat and try to act normally but I feel nauseous all the time. So the bad part of it is when my friends who didn’t have pet get one and I try not to bother and bring many excuses to do not go to their home and invite them in my house. I have never told them what is my problem but if I want to continue in this way I will lose my friends because they may think something is wrong that I don’t want to go to their house and little by little our relationship will be faded. Please help me, how can I deal with my problem? I know you may say it is not normal but I have tried many times and I can't fix it, so I have to deal with it but how? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2011): You need to tell ONE friend about this. You're suffering much more than you need to! (you don't NEED to suffer at all, but secrets make it so!). Talk to one close friend, share your anxiety. It's real... like being terrified to fly! Animals make our lives so much richer- you back ground simply is causing you anxiety!
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 May 2011):
 Have you thought about getting a pet of your own? People who own dogs don't smell their dog, they get used to the scent. Hair is also just hair, humans have hair on their heads as well.
The animals clean themselves after they have pooped. I believe your disgust with animals comes from zero experience with animals. The fastest solution would be to get one yourself. Maybe not a dog, but a hamster for example is a possibility. It is kept in a cage for most of the time, and doesn't need as much space or taking care of as a dog or larger animal will. Hamsters also live 2-3 years in average, so it is not a life long commitment.
If you do get a pet, read up about it carefully before getting one so the animal is treated well. The more you learn about animals, and the more time you spend with animals, the more used to them you will get. In a few years I am pretty sure you will have overcome this problem.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (2 May 2011):
 Ok, as for dealing with this, I think exposure therapy may help. You basically have to desensitize yourself to the animals. That means putting yourself in their home and facing your fears. Perhaps just start by sitting on the couch, then sitting by the dog. Then petting it while on the couch. This will take some time, but will make things easier for you hopefully.
For what it's worth, most people aren't that offended if you say something like, "I don't like dogs." Many people will do their best to keep the pet away from you if you're a guest in their house.
Another option would be to tell a lie. I typically don't advocate lying, but in a situation like this, sometimes it's just easier and doesn't lead to hurt feelings. You can claim you're alergic to dogs and cats. That gives you an excuse to not spend extended time periods at their houses. It also is something that pretty much everyone just accepts. The only problem I see with this is that you sound like you have some friends who you've known for a while so this lie will not work.
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