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How do I deal with constantly seeing my ex?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 March 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 26 March 2013)
A age 30-35, anonymous writes:

It's been a few months since I broke up with my boyfriend. It was sort of mutual- we both had very different lifestyles and values. However, we go to the same college and run into each other quite frequently. We haven't spoken since the day we broke up and I delete him from all social media. (He did talk to my friend about the breakup and ask if i was ok) I try to avoid him, but sometimes I will just run into him walking around campus. Alot of times he doesn't see me but I see him (and vise versa I'm sure). Once we just awkwardly smiled at each other.

It just hurts because he acts like nothing happened and seeing him brings back feelings of sadness and loss that I've worked so hard to overcome. After I run into him, I always obsess whether he saw me or not, what he's thinking, how he feels, if it'll happen again, etc.

Does anyone have any advice about how to handle this? I wish I could pass him without caring, over thinking or feeling depressed.

View related questions: broke up, depressed, my ex

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (26 March 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntHoney eventually you will see him and smile and he will smile and you will just keep going... breaking up is hard and having to see each other is hard too but being civil is the best way to go.

If you see him go over and smile and say hello and keep going... then you can't obsess over if he saw you or not you know he did. Ask him how he's doing? (he will say fine and you need to believe him) so then you don't have to worry about what he's feeling.

Be proactive and it will be ok.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2013):

I really feel for you. So many of us have been in this situation.

All you can do is to try to avoid seeing him as much as possible.

You both go to the same college, so it is unavoidable. But don't suppose that you know what he is thinking. You simply don't. And don't try to talk to him and become friends at this stage, that rarely ever ends well. Realise he is an ex for a reason and that ultimately both you and he would be happier with someone more suitable. Keep yourself busy with social clubs, sports, classes, so that you dont over analyze.

Well done for stopping contact, as Im a firm believer that the no contact rule is better for healing.

Time is certainly a healer and things will get better the more you focus on other aspects of your life. We have all been there and you will be a stronger person once you've overcome this.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2013):

Just make sure your looking and feeling good.

Say hello, be polite, have dignity and never ever give him a reason to have anything bad to say about you. Meanwhile, keep busy and soon it will become a small thing. It is awkward I agree, but just don't let it get bigger in your mind as it needs to be.

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