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How do I build confidence... And what *is* confidence?

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Question - (22 June 2006) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 June 2006)
A male United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

I sent a question in today and one of the repliers said that I need to build my self confidence in order to not being bullied and look at my good qualities. How do I build up my self confidence and what are examples of good qualities. Is it stuff like good at maths or football, or stuff like being a good listener etc.?

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (22 June 2006):

DrPsych agony auntSelf confidence is about self acceptance - none of us are perfect but you should accept yourself on your good or bad points. When you overly focus on the bad stuff, like failed relationships for instance, then you forget about all the good stuff like how kind you are, how you are a good listener or talented at football...whatever it happens to be. It is ok to strive for self improvement but not to the point where it stands in your way of being happy. YOu can get lots of books on self confidence, but no book in the world can make you happy with yourself - that is your job! If you feel insecure try to identify all the things that are good about you and maybe join some groups or clubs associated with your interests. Interacting with like-minded people can be empowering and make you feel better about yourself.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2006):

I used to be pushed around by some people who couldn't stand nerdy people standing up for themselves. I was an outsider, hated high school, because I was segregated by all crowds of people, except for one - they were very artistic and accepted me as is.

Anyway, after HS, I further developed my skills, personality, talents, and stuff like that. Confidence to me is a combination of different facets of myself. It gives me character/persona, identity, power, authority over myself, the idea that I can finish (almost) anything successfully or at least follow through with them - basically, it allows me to walk down a street with my head up, my eyes off the ground, without slouching, and not afraid of how people see me.

Talking to people, my friends and colleagues say my voice is strong and quite clear. Though I still get the butterflies when I talk in front of a crowd of more than 20 strangers. Confidence is knowing yourself, at least knowing the 'better' parts of yourself and solidifying that naturally with the outside world, even if that outside world is made up of yourself only.

Mind u, I'm a bit abstract in my description here... 8/

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