A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don’t understand how one guy, basically a stranger can make me feel so terrible about myself. A guy who complimented me more than any guy, so why am I doing this to myself!I met this very, very good looking guy one night, he went on about how amazing my figure was, how I was so good looking that he couldn’t believe it, that I was interested in him and didn’t know how beautiful I was. The things he said, I really should have been feeling great about myself, I mean a guy that an incredible looking thought that about me, he found it hard to believe I could be attracted to him?!Well the next day, I woke up and looked at myself. I hated my hair, my figure, the way I dressed just how I looked. I thought, what was he looking at, I’m none of what he said I actually felt worse about myself more than I ever had for a while. I ended up cutting my hair and dying it, then going on a diet to loose weight. It was the complete opposite to what you would expect. And when I saw him again last night, I just felt so low, I didn’t feel skinny enough, pretty enough, or even good about myself. How has this happened? How did this backfire, why am I doing this? I just feel worse about myself whenever I see him now, i don't understand it?
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female
reader, supermum +, writes (9 November 2011):
 You are never going to be perfect. God knows I am not in any way shape or form skinny, however I love myself, and the guys seem to love me because of it. Someone once said something to me that I am sure you could learn from:Nobody will EVER be able to love you enough until you learn to love yourself.Changing the way you look will not change the way you feel about yourself. When you do not like the way you look, taking compliments is pretty hard. I get that.It is true what they say... when you tell hear the same thing over and over and over again, you will eventually believe it. So, every single time you pass a mirror, tell yourself you are beautiful. For the first 6 weeks you will no doubt feel stupid. Within 12 weeks it will be normal for you, and within 20 weeks you will believe it. But you must do it several times a day and try to mean it when you say it, whether or not you believe it.You will never be 100% happy with your body. Nobody ever is. When you accept you will never be body perfect, you can then learn to accept that it is your flaws that people fall in love with.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 November 2011):
 Interesting, I don't think I'm young enough, or thin enough or pretty enough or smart enough or that I make my man happy... and he thinks I'm NUTS because I make him happy and he thinks I'm pretty and thin enough and smart enough etc..
what we do in our own brains is ten times worse than what others think... we are our own worst enemies.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 November 2011):
 You probably think that he has high expectations from you, and you are insecure so now you just feel worse about yourself, and you feel that every time you see him you feel like you need to live up to some one that you don't feel you are so it makes you feel worse about yourself. You need to build your confidence, work on your image until you achieve something that you are happy with but more importantly believe every compliment that you hear.
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