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How can you justify looking at violent or rape porn?

Tagged as: Pornography<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 September 2010) 17 Answers - (Newest, 15 August 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I don't just mean like being beaten and screaming, I mean the stuff where the woman gets her head shoved in a toilet, where the guy does anything until she cries or gags, etc... Why is that OK to get off on so long as it's not child porn or bestiality? I just want to know guys opinions mostly, though I'd like to hear anyone's opinion.

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A female reader, Kitty_Kat_Angel +, writes (15 August 2011):

Some people on here have said porn on the internet is not real or if there is some it would be hard to find and quickly removed. However, I looked at a free porn webite when I was curious and a bit bored. I think it is a popular site cos it was at the top of the search engine's search and was where people could upload porn onto it.

I was shocked by some videos on there cos I think some were degrading. There were a titles at top of a couple videos saying stuff like "woman drugged" and i think if that happened how could it be acted or fully consensual even if she had agreed to be drugged first.

I just found it quite disturbing and have never watched porn online since because I don't think there is any full way of definately knowing if it is fully consensual or not.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010):

Why would you have to justify what turns you on? Do people have to justify their sexual preference in regards to race, or gender, or even hair color?

You'd be surprised at the amount of women and men who enjoy being dominated and part of that is humiliation. It's not about "abuse", it is consensual and controlled. And I'd like to break it to several of you who posted here, that while some of the more commercial cheesy stuff might be a bit "faked", most of it isn't. A consent form is filled out, with limitations that will be pushed. A safe word is given, and after that control is in the dominant's hands. The tears are as real as the orgasms, fantasies are met and exceeded in a safe and controlled way, whats NOT OK with that? (If those involved didn't *like* it, they surely wouldn't continue to do it, and can/could have put a stop to it at anytime)

When people are taught something is wrong, they feel guilty for enjoying it and suppress it, and see it as evil and bad. Let me stress we are talking about CONSENSUAL ADULTS with the ability to make their own decisions, NOT defenseless children or animals, there is a HUGE difference there. Whats WRONG, is having to justify that. Whats WRONG is when it's not consensual.

It all comes down to exploring personal sexuality safely. Not everyone gets off on the same porn in the same way not everyone likes the same foods. If you don't like it, don't eat it. :)

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A male reader, Cupid Boy Canada +, writes (3 October 2010):

Cupid Boy agony auntWell, it does matter what you fantasize about. People always say it doesn't since fantasies aren't real. But obviously there is a difference between imagining loving sex between two married people and imagining a young boy getting ass-raped by a group of men. There's a difference between an ultra-violent videogame where you're fighting Nazis in WWII and an ultra-violent game where you walk through a school, massacring students. Even erotic fiction sites will not accept stories involving children because I think, deep down, they realize some things aren't right or healthy to even think about. To those who are against child porn only because it hurts real children... do you think a realistic computer-generated porn video showing children and babies being raped and murdered would be fine to make and watch?

Images have an influence. The whole advertising industry is based on the idea that even a 15-second ad during a show, or a small banner ad on a web page, can influence people. If this weren't a proven fact, companies wouldn't be paying billions on ads each year. Even though the vast majority may watch the ad and not buy the product, just as most watch rape videos without going out and raping anyone, it still has an influence. You look at the products differently, as something cool or desirable, after seeing the ads. So it's not a stretch to think that after viewing enough rape videos, one would begin to look at rape differently too.

People have no trouble accepting that inspiring shows and movies can have a positive impact. So why is it so hard to believe that movies based on humiliation and debasement could have a negative impact?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

"I mean if these were REAL scenarios I might have a problem, but it's not. It's actors. Paid, professional (to an extent) actors. 99% of everything happening in them is FAKED. They CONSENTED and signed paper work."

All that means is it's better for the actors. But whether it's real or fake makes NO difference to the person watching. Even if it's fake, if you're seeking out violent sex/rape, that's what you get off on. Fake or real, makes no difference to anyone but the actors. You are getting off on rape and violence. I hate the idea that because it's a sexual fantasy it's suddenly a free pass and you're not allowed to judge, because it makes no sense. Whether or not it's acting, you are getting off on rape.

And yes, there is stuff about women hurting men, but it's in the way minority. And I never said I was OK with that either.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2010):

Well, to most people, it probably isn't okay.. But to the people with the fetish, it's ace. You are aware that there is the opposite side right? There are TONS of pornographic materials containing men being beaten, tortured, forced to wear women's clothing in public, turned into slaves, made to do disgusting things, etc. Why? People are attracted to being dominant or dominated. Some women actually get off on violent porn. Some men do as well. It's a two way street.. I mean if these were REAL scenarios I might have a problem, but it's not. It's actors. Paid, professional (to an extent) actors. 99% of everything happening in them is FAKED. They CONSENTED and signed paper work.

Being disturbed by this should be the same as being disturbed by people who enjoy movies like Saw or Hostel or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre or the original The Last House on the Left, or The Girl Next Door or any other horror/slasher flick. Why? Because it IS the same, except add or subtract sex. PAID actors are ACTING out graphic scenes where people are tortured and belittled to the point of a severe breakdown. (Hell, the Last House on the Left was about two young teenage girls getting kidnapped and tortured, raped and killed.) Another difference is one is for sexual entertainment and the other is for another sort of entertainment.

How is it any "better" than child porn or bestiality porn? Because it is FAKE. The people are CONSENTING adults who have SEEN THE SCRIPT and agreed to it. Children and animals are FORCED to be roughed up. How can you even compare the two? Especially considering neither can truly consent and they experience little to no actual pleasure.. And are generally messed up for the rest of their lives. What does the actor in the rape porn walk away with? No trauma and a fat paycheck. Wow, sounds rough.

I do not like violent/rape porn-- or any porn, actually. Watching sex that way gives me the creeps. But I understand MANY people do like it, and it really isn't my place to judge. You can't help what you're attracted to, and many people use pornography as an outlet to prevent themselves from acting on their fantasies or coping with the fact that they absolutely can't. It's just another form of an entertainment film, and that's all there is to it. Sure, I think the fantasy is sick, but I won't judge people who don't. Not my place.

But I will never feel that way about child or animal pornography. That is a sick and disgusting practice of forcing and manipulating innocent, non-sexual (most animals don't enjoy sex, they only do it to reproduce) creatures to do what they want... They break children and kill animals..

And plus you know there is violent and rape pornography involving animals and children right? And that's all real. So I wouldn't try and go down the "which is worse" path here...

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A female reader, LustyLisa United States +, writes (2 October 2010):

I certainly don't think it's OK and thankfully my partner doesn't either. Why some people find it arousing and why some actually consent and allow for this kind of behavior from their intimate partners is another mystery to me.

Human nature has always had those on the fringes of society who would be inticed into this kind of lifestyle. Looking back at the various civilizations torture, blood shed and killing was vastly entertaining to the masses. Thousands turned out to watch Christians being thrown into lions dens. Crucifixions and executions where considered public specticles much like wrestling and boxing are today. Most human beings have some degree of tolerance towards cruelty and depraivity but have enough humanity within them resist those thoughts before they can be acted on.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010):

I think some striaght porn where the guy gets all the pleasure are just as degrading to women. Even if the sex is slow and passionate, but he gets a blowjob, vaginal and anal sex and she gets nothing...that frankly offends me. It objectifys women as tools to get men off, and that's wrong. It's just as bad as the head in the toilet or gagging her with his cock till she pukes, if you ask me. Sex should ALWAYS be about mutual pleasure, and whenever possible...love.

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (1 October 2010):

Jmtmj agony aunt"Where did you get the idea that anyone thought that was ok? Who says that is ok?"

That's also what I'd like to know...

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (1 October 2010):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntI wouldn't justify it actually. It's marginally better than bestial/child pornography in the sense that the violent porn has some degree of informed consent involved but that doesn't make it any more right. Thankfully not a lot of people are into it in a serious way though many may have seen a scene or two to check it out. Personally I abhor it. I hate even seeing a girl blindfolded or gagged in mainstream porn.

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A male reader, Cerberus_Raphael Sweden +, writes (1 October 2010):

Cerberus_Raphael agony auntI must fully disagree with the anonymous reader who compared rape porn to a movie in a theatre. Scenes in theatre are done for dramatic effect to show the audience just how cruel the world can be. Rape porn is not done for the same thing. Rape porn aggressively plays the viewers morality against their libido until the line between right and wrong is so mutilated, your mind is a mess.

I doubt it matters whether or not a man looks at that. What matters is how he feels afterwards. Sometimes it is difficult to resist a sexual urge for a particular thing but afterwards, when the hormones, the adrenaline and the fraction of sexual satisfaction has faded away, what is left but the broken morality that sickens the viewer and makes him feel ashamed of what he has just done. Regret may often follow the act.

The sexual urge does not make the man. I must admit I have seen such things. To my own shame, I was aroused but I felt sick afterwards, I wanted to vomit and with it, spew all the shame and sickening guilt I felt for finding some type of attraction to that sort of thing. But I cannot help being aroused to certain things, though in my heart and in my mind, I know that I would never raise an angered hand against anyone, woman or man, I would never demean a woman in that way. Merely thinking about such a thing makes my mind churn. When I had seen it (only once) I could not sleep without feeling guilt and I could not eat without remembering. It took a while for all those black feelings to subside. Eventually, I was able to just forget what I saw and now I know to avoid it.

What Cupid Boy said was true, people often seek a stronger source of ecstasy and it will eventually lead them to stranger things. But there is always the chance to turn back and know when to stop. I've done it so I know it is not impossible. There is no justification for this sort of thing. It is wrong in every way. Woman are beautiful, in their form, their mind, their hearts and compassion. Such is a scientific fact and the reason why women have been the centre of romantic poetry since poetry was born. A man should not taint that thought. That is what rape porn does, it perverts the view men have of women until they suddenly persuade themselves that it is alright to see women that way. But it is not. The same goes for women. A woman should not pervert her view of men.

I hope that helps.

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A female reader, misfitschik66 Canada +, writes (1 October 2010):

misfitschik66 agony auntA lot of that is set up meaning it is fake

men get off on it because it's very dominant

I must admit i have watched it

not to get off on but to just see what all the talk was about

you can even tell most of it is fake

but some men like that sort of stuff

my fiance watches stuff like that sometimes and he is a pussy cat in the bedroom so honestly as long as he isn't doing it to me i don't give a hoot what he looks at

if it was real it would be hard to find snuff stuff and would be banned online as soon as someone reported it and had proof it was real

i as a woman would never let anyone demoralize me like that ever and if they tried they would be seeing the door real fast

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A male reader, Cupid Boy Canada +, writes (1 October 2010):

Cupid Boy agony auntIt's not ok and not all guys get off on that. I've never even seen things like what you're describing because I don't go looking for them. It's not appealing at all, it's disturbing. I think the guys that watch it are the ones trying to escalate their experience -- like drug users that start with something innocuous like marijuana but instead of being content with that, they move on to worse and worse things, eventually ending up on crack cocaine.

Also, the more taboo something is, the more it appeals to some people. So they won't get turned on by regular sex anymore (too mainstream and accepted) but they'll find "forbidden" subject matter like rape, bestiality, children, etc., very exciting. I think they must be the extreme porn users who have burned through all the lesser forms of porn until it has no effect on them, so they seek out the taboo stuff. But as society becomes more and more permissive, what's "taboo" keeps getting more and more extreme. Sad that things have gone this way. At one time simple nudity was shocking and exciting; but it's pretty innocent compared to the depravity out there now.

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A male reader, BassiveMalls United States +, writes (1 October 2010):

BassiveMalls agony auntSome people just like to see other people dominated. Some people like to be dominated. I'm not that way but I can definitely see how someone could be. It's more common than you think. As long as no one gets really hurt and all the participants are willing no harm no foul.

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A female reader, Nime United States +, writes (1 October 2010):

Nime agony auntI cannot understand how someone would find someone else's pain and humiliation arousing, but I'm sure plenty of people do get off on it.

As to why it's more acceptable than child porn or bestiality, think of it this way. Unless the footage is of a real rape, the actors, both male and female, are choosing to participate in the film. They are most certainly getting paid too. Children and dogs, however, can not choose; they are forced. While I think the subject matter in rape porn, child porn and bestiality is equally despicable and wrong, one could justify that the way the porn was made (everyone involved was consenting and paid) makes porn about the violent rape of adult women okay.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010):

Personally I don't see it any different than the millions of people who plunk down 10 dollars every year to sit in a movie theater and watch psychotic killers proceed to slowly and graphically torture an innocent person to death, all in the name of entertainment. You may not see it as a good analogy, but in the end it's all just entertainment, nothing more.

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A female reader, SleepyMaddy United States +, writes (1 October 2010):

SleepyMaddy agony auntPeople probably feel that its okay to watch or DO that kinda thing because ina twisted sense is the lesser of evils. Its not as bad as raping a child or screwing a dog-which by the way is just to odd to think about. Its all about the persons' sense of right and wrong. I know the rules were meant to be concrete but people have their own opinions about what they should or shouldn't do. Personally, i don't think its okay to watch or do that kind of stuff because its degreding to themselves and the victim.

I hope that partially answers your question. ;)

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A female reader, lovejunkie Canada +, writes (1 October 2010):

lovejunkie agony auntI think it's sick no matter how to slice it and I'd be concerned if the man I loved got off on stuff like that. He wouldn't be for me that's for sure. It's not okay in my opinion.

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