A
female
age
30-35,
*elticm00ngir1
writes:Me and my boyfriend had sex for the first time a few days ago. Afterward, he felt guilty, which I guess is normal since it was the first time for both of us. However, my boyfriend was raised in a very christian family and, though he still really wants to do it, he doesn't feel like it's right. We both keep talking about doing it, but our conversations always end with him saying that he can't do this (no that he won't, only that he can't) and that he has to 'fight' the urge. I keep trying to come up with a way for us to do it without his religous beliefs making him either not enjoy and regret it when we're done. I don't want him to do something that he doesn't want to, but we both really want to do it again. I guess my question is; Does anyone have any advice on what I could say to him or that we could do to without his religious causing him to feel guilty?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2011): He doesn't feel it was right. Now if a girl said this, it would be you shouldn't feel pressured to have sex. What a brute!!
Seriously, what makes it okay to keep at and pester a young man who gave in to having sex and then says, I am going to change my mind because, I feel remorse for my decision and I want to maintain, I wait to share my love and body for marriage?
A girl can say this and get applause and support but a young man says it and hes wrong??
HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD????
You can change his moral code. He was born, raised with this belief and he gave into temptation once and guess what? He wasn't happy. It hurt him to his spiritual core. He has regret and is full of remorse and guilt.
IF it won't help him be happy, then leave him be.
Just maintain the friendship but if the no sex is going to be a deal breaker for you. Let the young man alone.
It will bring him peace.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2008): If the situation were reversed, you would be getting the advice that he has the right to decide not to continue having sex with you and you shouldn't hold it against him.
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A
female
reader, SugarCookie +, writes (7 July 2008):
It depends on how serious you two are and why you two aren't married. My fiance and I aren't married because it will affect my financial aid and we cant afford to put me through college by are selves. The only way I can think is to insure him that you want to spend the rest off your life together. I hope that helped a little but I do realize that wasn't the best advice I've given.
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