A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and i have been together for a couple of years now. The problem is that we have both kind of settled into this routine, boring way of life. It makes her question us, as well as makes me question us. I know that i love her to death. I want to be with her. But i don't know how to get that spark back.A problem we have is that when we first met, i was slightly bitter from a bad past relationship. I really liked her but was emotionally cold and distant because i don't think i was ready to be in a relationship at the time. But i kept trying because i knew something was special about her. She tried to be really sweet and was very giving. She would leave little notes here and there telling me how much she cared. She'd plan special outings, etc. I never really reciprocated doing those little things for her, and never really verbalized how much those little things meant to me. Honestly, I took them for granted. She eventually stopped doing them and it set the pace for our relationship.Now, it seems we never show physical affection, kiss, cuddle, etc. We never do the little things for one another. And when one of us tries to do one of these things, we both find it awkward or unnatural because we hadn't done it for so long. It's really odd. Anyway, i don't know how to break that pattern. I know i love her and am attracted to her. And i know she feels the same. So what in the world can i do to try to break this pattern?
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male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (18 June 2011):
It's quite simple, get of your backside and start breaking it whether it means re-igniting the things like the notes or the kissing and cuddling. Yes it may feel a bit unnatural at first but you'll get over it.
Try doing some stuff randomnly or on the spot.
If none of this works, then as much as you love her, maybe you should think about whether you relationship is running its course
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): Perhaps you could plan a weekend away for her, where you spend all your time together. Take her out on a date - a nice meal? Make a bubble bath for the two of you. Just generally make an effort. Show her how fun things can be if you both put effort into making it that way! Let her know how you feel about her, and tell her how much you appreciate all of the things she has done for you.
Maybe you could have a 'date night' every other week or once a month? Let her get dressed up, take her out. Take it in turns to plan the date.
Break up your routine - try to change what you do on each day.
Take up a new hobby that you can both enjoy
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): Go away for a vacation both of you book a place where you both will like. When you book the place tell them its a romantic vacation add some roses, chocloates and here and there a touch of each others hands. If you do not want to go away make a movie night with a movie you like and she likes or 2 movies both of you like. Then tell her that on a specific day she must not make any dinner or plans its your movie night.( Atleast have one scary movie so that she can lay close to her and you cold hold her in your arms when you hold her in your arms give he a light kiss on the cheeck) Then order some pizza and popcorn and just enjoy it.
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