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How can I wait to have a baby?

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 May 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 11 May 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

all i see every where is pregnant woman oryoung girls and im so jealous.

i really wnt a baby, but my boyfriend doesnt yet.

i dont know what to do to carry on for a couple years longer. does anyone know what i can do?

please help me its horrible :(

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010):

Do NOT rush a baby because once it's done, there's no going back. I am having a baby now at 32 and I am so, so glad I didn't do it when I was younger... I travelled, I partied, I tried different jobs and got an idea of what I wanted to do for a career. Now, there are no questions left and I am completely ready, willing & able. I compare myself to so many friends who had babies early and ALL of them say they love their children, but if they had their way again, they'd hold off. So travel together, go on adventures, develop your career and when you've seen and done everything you want to do & see, then think about it!

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (11 May 2010):

CindyCares agony aunt The average age of first pregnancy in UK is around 29 years so probably there aren't around you as many young pregnant girls as you think.

Your bf will have reasons for not wanting to be a father yet - did you ask him about them ? Maybe financial ?

It is sad to have to suppress ( momentarily ) your maternal instinct. But it's way worse having to raise a baby out of a committed relationship, or with an uninvolved father, or beset by money/housing problems. A child will change your life forever so it's better it comes after some practical and psychological preparation.

Think of it as an important project that you are gonna pave the way for in the next couple of years.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010):

i'm 25 and six months pregnant with my first ... i really loved the idea of being pregnant and having a baby but not reality is here, i am bricking it cos its not what i imagines. I feel trapped, sick and too young for all of this ... gosh, why didn't i live a better bit more, grrr! Anyhow, babies are cute but there is more to it than that ... you are young, have your whole life a head of you to get knocked up, enjoy life, have new experiences, get out there and do the things you can't whilst being a "responcibile" parent. I don't know how to put you off wanting a kid, all i can say is you have got let yourself live before committing to one otherwise you may later regret it, and that would not be fair on the little one.

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A female reader, Evol Angel United States +, writes (11 May 2010):

Evol Angel agony auntfirst of dear, how old are you?

and second, a baby is a lot of work, and thats with 2 people ho are married. Having a baby doesn not make a relationship any better, sometimes it only makes it worse. and you only have a boyfriend, not a husband, and this alone will make it more difficult.

I have watched my best friend struggle now for 2 years because her son was born her sophmore year of high school! She has had to go without food before, so her baby can eat. The father is not in the picture and she and her son move from house to house to try and get by. It is NOT easy having a baby.

My best advice, WAIT. Get married first, be ready. because sweetheart, if you aren't married you are not ready.and you think that a baby will make things better, you are sadly mistaken.

Take time to enjoy life before you decide to settle down and have kids, because after you have a kids, nothing else matters. No parties, no "alone" time... it will be all about the kids. Let yourself go do things before you decide to have a kid.

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A female reader, greenflower United States +, writes (11 May 2010):

do you know any friends with children? maybe babysit or just visit. Spending time with babies is great. They have their ups and downs.

Also, talk to your boyfriend. Wanting a baby is an important talk, he can give you reasons to hold off on having a baby. Or he could be convinced into having one. But talk to him.

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