A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My family doesn't have much money. We have enough just for the basic needs. I can't help but feel overwhelmingly jealous when I see that other people who are no better or smarter than me in any way have so much more than I do. I keep thinking about all the great experiences this world has to offer, like visiting other countries, going on summer vacations, skiing, taking dance or language lessons, dining out, going to music festivals, amusement parks, shopping just for fun, etc. All those things I can't afford. I feel like I'm living in a cage because all of those things are out there, but are out of my reach. I have a Master's degree, but the only job I could find in this economy is a dead end job with a very small paycheck. I know there are many people who don't even have food, but there are also many people who live in luxury. I was just wondering how other people who are in a similar position deal with it. Because I sure don't know how to make peace with the fact that life is so unfair. Thinking about money and trying to save as much as I possibly can has become my obsession. I don't want to be so materialistic but I can't help it. I would appreciate your advice. Thank you.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (8 November 2011):
 1. Stop looking at what other people have. It's only making you feel bad about what you don't have.
Everyone is struggling in some way in this economy. All college students have to settle for less, half not even being able to use their degrees, just to make ends meet and pay off those student loans. People have had to sell their homes and move in with other family members, hopefully as a temporary situation. Being in your 30s and living with at home with your parents isn't frowned upon anymore!! Times are tough and it affects everyone!
Look at what you have to be thankful for. Your family, a roof over your head, your health, a job that may not pay much but at least you're not being reduced to working fast food, etc.
Budget, cut costs where you can. Bundle cell phones, get rid of the house phone, have basic cable or get rid of it completely and pay for Netflix, keep the heat down during the winter, wear more layers, clip coupons, carpool to work or trade in that gas guzzling SUV for a 4 door sedan, pay a little more on your debts to get them paid off, don't use credit cards, etc.
Christmas is coming up and you can get everyone in your family together, everyone brings a dish, and you play this game where everyone gets a present. You each bring a gift (usually stay under $25) of something you like. Then everyone sits in a group with a pair of dice, when you roll doubles you trade your gift with anyone else in the group. This goes on for 2 hours or until everyone has rolled doubles. Point is everyone walks away with a decent gift. It's really quite fun, and saves $$ so you don't have to buy for everyone.
Start saving a small amount, even if it's 10% of your paycheck. Set aside the money and work towards your goal of what you wish to buy, or do with it. For example, my husband and I are cracking down on our spending to be able to afford nice furniture for when we move to another military base. Bills eat us alive every pay check. He's leaving his debit card at home so he doesn't spend any extra money during the day, I cook meals, no eating out, we're conserving gas by carpooling, we have a roommate so rent/expenses are cut in half, no going to the salon to get my hair done, no going out on the weekends, and we're setting a budget for Christmas.
You may not be able to get everything you want, but at least you saved up enough money to achieve one of those small luxuries.
A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (8 November 2011):
If my household can stretch $1,300 per month and still have at least $200 to put aside for emergencies, you can find a way to save money for luxuries.
The trick is living frugally. Using coupons, buying food that is in season, walking or riding bikes instead of driving everywhere, use dish towels instead of buying paper towels...
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A
male
reader, lakers_lover09 +, writes (7 November 2011):
I think I can help u out. See, my family doesnt really suffer from money issues . We arent close to rich, but we can afford most of what we want. Evem through this, there was a time where I was so depressed because I didnt value the things that money could buy anymore. Once I started seeing what was important like family and friends and love, I was on the right track. Then I started appreciating the things that all the money in the world couldnt compensate like unconditional love from a newborn baby or jusrpt how wonderful it is tht the world was created specifically to help people like me and u. Its tryely amazing. So my advice is to live life to the fullest and say screw what u dnt have! Its time to appreciate the things u do have and get after tge things that u wanna get! Good luck
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