A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I sent a friend request to a girl I like on facebook. The girl is not totally a stranger to me. We have at least 20 mutual friends and she used to go to the same high school. Unfortunately we had no class together. I do remember seeing her in school. But she doesn't know me. Last fall I went away to college while she attends a local one. So, it's impossible for me to meet her personally or hang out with her.After sending the friend request I 'd sent her a message(a separate one,not along with the friend request) introducing myself and expressing my wish to be friends with her. She'd accepted my friend request but not replied to the message.Thing is I really like her .I don't want to be branded as a creep or stalker.And I want to let her know that I'm interested in her. But there are a number of complications:1. She's never available for chat, always stays invisible, so i can't know for sure when she's online and can't chat with her.2. Her relationship status says "It's complicated"(Honestly, i never really understood what that means)So I guess the only way to get to know her is by sending messages. I need suggestions on what to write in the message. Btw , I hadn't sent any message after she added me as friend. So a nice context for the message could be thanking her for adding me. But what else should i write to start a conversation and at the same time show that I'm interested in her without appearing a creep?And what should i do get her interested in me?I need something different to stand out from the crowd and something interesting too.sorry for the long postI understand that my situation is rather bleak, well , that's the reason I'm posting it here.
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (23 January 2011):
 I think the 'it's complicated' could be either the guy she is seeing is married or in a relationship, or she could be in and out of a relationship that's going nowhere. But whatever it means, it means there is someone there and obviously she's not finished business with him, so you could be stepping in to it at the wrong time. What I would suggest you do is just keep your eye on the relationship status and see if it changes over the next few weeks. You could in the meantime just comment on fb stuff if she writes there, just to show her you are interested in what she is doing on the site. Even if it's just ticking 'like' for a while. Then gradually little comments on the stuff she writes. Otherwise you can't be going in like a bull at a gate, you have to go slowly on this one. Does she have a friend who you talk to so you could find out that way if you have any chance.
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