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How can I save this relationship?

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 January 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 9 January 2008)
A male Namibia age 41-50, *ostangi writes:

I have a problem with my gf she is starving me sexually, she is currently pregnancy but the problem started before that. we live together I have spoken to her several times but she is not improving at all. After several argument we decided to have sex at least twice in a week but still that hardly happen? I dont want to cheat how can I save the relationship.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008):

My husband and I went through years of this when we had our two children. Life and body changes affect a womens sex drive more than men can understand i think. We did have arguments when my husband thought he couldn't take it any more. And i cried for days when he told me he thought i didn't find him attractive anymore.Which was not true. But he stayed true and was as understanding as he could be. Because he gave me the time to refind my sex drive(without the fear of him cheating hanging over my head) i now spend hours showing him just how much he turns me on. You have years and years of sex ahead of you. If you really love her, DON'T EVER CHEAT. Enjoy it when shes in the mood, and take care of yourself when she isn't. And please don't turn to loads of porn. It creates a whole other set of problems. Check out the pornography section on this site if you need proof. Stay strong, put your energy into getting ready for baby,and prove your a good man.

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A female reader, xapathyxrebornx United Kingdom +, writes (7 January 2008):

xapathyxrebornx agony aunthun being pregnant shes very hormonal, so in bed cuddle her and just relax her and make her feel good, its natural she wants to protect the baby and it can be scary, just take you time, dont cheat, it will be both worth it hun x

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A female reader, AJ jess ^..^ United Kingdom +, writes (6 January 2008):

AJ jess ^..^ agony auntIf the child she is pregnant with is yours then i would strongly advise you not to cheqat on her as you will lose her. I suggest that you just wait untill she will allow you to have sex with her, there are positions that allow you to have sex while pregnant that dont harm the babyy so prehaps mention these to her

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A female reader, kate007 United States +, writes (6 January 2008):

I know from experience that sex in early pregnancy can be quite scary. She'll be feeling very different down there and it's quite strange to think that your baby is present during sex.

Well done for talking it through but agreeing on a rigid schedule for sex may not be the best answer. Try cuddling in bed with lots of foreplay to relax you both and hopefully get her in the mood.

If you've been together a long time, you don't tend to heve sex as much as when you first met but try to find new ways of being close and enjoying eachothers company.

Remember, having a baby puts a huge strain on a relationship so make an effort strenghthen your relationship now and support eachother through each step.

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (5 January 2008):

rcn agony auntCheating is never an option. That takes your personal desires and places them at a higher level than the respect and love you have for her. In six months it will be two years since I've had sexual contact with anyone. It's a goal for myself. I can not have sex and still be OK.

You need to still make her feel special. She's going to be the mother of your child, you need to join with her in honering the beauty that's involved with the process of the pregnancy. Let her know that all though the body changes a bit during this process, she's still the only one in your life.

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A female reader, orkney girl +, writes (5 January 2008):

many women find having sex while pregnant a total turn off as they are wanting to 'protect' the baby. try wanking and let nature take its course!! if you feel that sex is so important to you rather than her and you want to go off and find someone else to relieve your frustrations maybe the family thing wasnt a good idea in the first place. what would your gf do if she found out?? do you want her and the baby to leave you because you were selfish and impatient??? she isn't the one with a problem at the moment mate, it's you!!!

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