A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I graduated from college a few years ago and have become really good friends with one of my professors. We've known each other for about five years and have become close friends for about 2 1/2 to 3.Since this last summer, when I got a job several states away, we have kept in touch frequently; emailing each other often and sometimes calling each other on the phone every other weekend for about half an hour.The last time we saw each other was over Christmas and both of us were really flirting heavily (we had been flirting some last summer, but it had never been like this).Now, ever since we met in late December, he has been totally ignoring me. I admit I had a crush on him while his student (but never even thought about acting on it) and was really flirting with him since I moved and when we met over Christmas. I think he has realized that I've become more attached and interested in him and (probably because of the age difference - close to 30 years) has become scared and backed off. But I have gotten over the thought about us being "together" as I know it would never work and just want us to be friends. I have sent him some emails and have called a couple times, leaving one voice message; just keeping in touch. The last email I sent him, among other things included (like letting him know what's going on where I'm living now), had the following:"Have I angered you in any way, since I have not heard from you since we last met over Christmas. If I did; I apologize. I consider you a good friend and value our friendship deeply. I miss talking to you and you're a lot of fun to be around." That has not even gotten a response. I honestly do not know what to do. Like I said I could care less about us not being together as it would never work, but I certainly do not want to lose our friendship. I want to talk to him about it; see where he stands and why he's acting this way, but how can I if he doesn't return my phone calls and emails? He means a lot to me in a friendship-kind of way.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): You're deluding yourself. A "friendship" as you call it, would never work. You're young in your 20s, and he's in his 50s. For goodness sake, go have some fun with people your own age. You are wasting your precious time fantisizing over a man old enough to be your father. The reason he has not replied is because he is acting responsible. You too should do the same. There are plenty more fish in the sea - so don't go after something that will never work. Time to start socializing.... Good luck!
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