A
male
age
30-35,
*rhit1007
writes:I know it's easy, but I tend to make eye contact with cute girls often. I see girls on campus, when I'm out to eat, etc. Sometimes the girl will look away, other times we'll lock eyes. ...and continue to check each other out.I have no idea how to go from eye flirting to actually flirting with a girl. Usually the girl will be with a group of friends, or we'll simply be passing by on campus so there's no time to talk anyways. How can I make the move from locking eyes to simply talking with the girl?I'm not looking for a relationship from the first girl I talk to.. I just think it'll help out my confidence level.Thanks in advanced
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reader, drhit1007 +, writes (7 May 2010):
drhit1007 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have no problem once the conversation's started. It's that initial conversation starter that I have trouble with. Maybe it's just me or a lack of courage.. but I'd have no clue what to say when I go talk to a girl in a group. Also, I'd feel like a huge creep.
Any suggestions?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): First thing to do after locking eyes is smile widely at her. That immediately signals interest, if she smiles back then just walk over.
If she's with a group of friends then all the better, I know you might feel you have eyes watching you and they might even all stop talking and watch what you do, but trust me if you act nice and confident having a group of friends there can be a huge plus because girls love confidence and not many guys have the balls to go up to and talk to a girl who's in a group of friends.
I used to do that all the time, smile broadly and immediately acknowledge her friends then introduce myself specifically to her and ask her her name. Have a brief conversation about what she's doing in college etc. and if there's a good chance I'll see her again that day and she seems interested in talking to me, I just make an excuse and leave, telling her it was nice to meet her, see her around, acknowledge her friends and leave. This way you don't get shot down in front of a group of girls, you give them time to talk over what just happened they will make a better case for why she should go for it than you ever could and you don't put her on the spot in front of her friends.
The initial interaction should tell you whether theres chemistry or not but by no means take it as a no, remember she still has to talk it over with her friends.
Then figure out whats on that week and the next time you see her stop her and ask her if out.
If you get nervous talking to girls or have any issues with confidence then just build it up by talking to every girl you meet, when standing in a queue, when buying something from a store if there's a girl near start a conversation every single time, no matter how old, young or attractive she is. It gets very easy after a while. I found that it was from random conversations with girls I wasn't initially attracted to that I got the most dates because they happened to have similar tastes and humour as me.
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A
male
reader, ManAfterChrist +, writes (2 May 2010):
 Hey man, just don't think about it so much! You don't need some clever way to talk to her. You don't need to bump into each other and have her drop all of her books (I always laugh at that one)! All it takes is like 2 seconds of confidence. The hardest part is taking the first step towards her, but then after that it's a breeze. Just be normal, ask her what her name is, what she is majoring in, etc. And after like 3-5 minutes of talking just say "Hey I'm actually on my way to class, but can I grab your number?" or something. If she is interested, she'll give you her number. If not, okay just try with another girl another day.
Trust me when I say it's just that first step. Once you are in front of her talking, everything will just flow.
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