A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for about half a year but we've been best friends for about 4 years. At first, everything started out great but soon i began to notice things that really bugged me. One, he doesn't drive so I'm always driving us around (he never pays for gas either). Two, he plays computer games late at night and I like to sleep early so when I'm up at 8AM, I'm sitting there waiting for him to get up at 12PM. Three, he is always scared that I will leave him. My question is, what can I do to make him change without hurting him?
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (28 August 2009):
 1. Tell him to learn how to drive, get a car and get insurance as you may not be around to do that for him in the future.2. Tell him to spend more time paying attention to you instead of video games.3. Tell him if 1 and 2 are not complied with, he will lose you because if he loves you he will change his heart, make adjustments to your life and perhaps in between you will tolerate him playing games when you're at work, and he can drive around and take care of chores for you.And ... if he does the above for you, you will treat him special for being good to you.
A
female
reader, karasu10 +, writes (28 August 2009):
 Us women think we can make a man change. In reality we cant. he'll change if he wants to. All you can do is tell him what bothers you and hope that he'll grow up and try and fix it.
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A
female
reader, busy04 +, writes (28 August 2009):
 You CAN'T change him or anyone else for that matter!
The most that you can do is express how you feel to him, talk to him. People don't always know how you feel unless you say something, and in a relationship as long as yours has been with him you should be more than able to talk to him. No one has the power to make someone change,and you say that you don't want to hurt him but if you have an attitude to CHANGE him: you will hurt him in the end, because it's something he'll be doing for you & not himself, change starts from within. You can however INTRODUCE him to change: which is presenting your concerns in a skillful, tactful, caring & loving way. You can lead by example (do certain things that will catch their attention, so can start to do it also) or you can just talk to the person & hope that they listen to what you have to say & act out on it.
Good luck! :)
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