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How can I let go of my ex and move on with my life?

Tagged as: Cheating, Friends, Long distance, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 August 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 25 August 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, *ovecraze writes:

Oh gosh, were do I even begin. I'm 21 years old and have been in love with an awsome guy for the past 5 years . For the past 3 years it has been a long distance relationship because he lives in Florida where I used to live but had to move to newyork after highschool. I never thought I could love anyone this much. He's funny, smart, caring and an overall good guy. Up until 2 years ago our relation was great. We were arguing and I decided that I didn't want to be with him anymore, not that it's the first we haven't broken up and gotten back together but this time it was different. This time I met another guy and within a couple days of meetin him we slept together which up until this day I can't believe I was capable of doing such a selfish thing. I told my boyfriend what happened because I really cannot lie and it was tearing me up inside. He was devastated, we've only been with each other and I betrayed him. He was really dissapointed with me as I was with myself. After months of anger and arguments he decided that would give me a second chance. Things were ok for awhile but not the same. We had our moments of ups and downs but what relationship didn't. We only get to see each othe 2 times a year winter and summer break because we are both in school. Everytime we are together we have and awsome time but whenever we went back home it went back to arguing and not speaking for days.we then decided that it would be best if we remained friends. Because it seems as though we argue less. So that was the plan, be friends but we were still travelling that 1000 miles to see each other. And again everything was prefectly fine until I went Back home. I wanted more I don't just want to be friends and have sex when I go see him. He says he loves me and care for me and have been fighting with himself ever since I cheated on him. He still had not gotten over me cheating on him. I know it's hard but I really thought that we could work it out. He has made it clear that he doesn't want to be with me because he value his principle more than his feelings. But it seems none of us wants to let go , we keep going in circles and I don't know how to let go. I want to just forget about it all because it just hurt to want to be with him so badly and having him reject me constanly. He even said he's sorry for dragging me back in when he gets lonely. None of us have been with anyone else except for when i cheated. He wants us to say friends because he says he value our friendship and to tell the truth I do too because I don't have many friends and he has become my very best friend. The problem with that is every time I tell myself we are just friends and we talk over the phone I get really emotional and start crying after. I've tried to not have any contact with him but it doesn't last very long. I want to accept that we Are over but I can't seem to. I want to not feel like my whole world is crumbling because he's not in it, I want to stop thinking that some miracle is going to come and brings us back to the way it was. I want to stop thinking that we were meant to be and just move with my life but I don't know how. I keep thinking it would be easier to just stop talking to him but I don't want to loose our friendship. Please help I'm sick of crying over someone that doesn't want to be with me. How do I let go of him and move on with my life?

View related questions: best friend, long distance, move on, my ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009):

Ok thanks, the question is. Do you really want to let go? And if so then ask yourself why do you want to let go? better yet, ask your b/f If he see's a future with you and him. IF he says yes then you have to make the decision about what you want and to reasure him you wont cheat AGAIN. I think the cheating damaged everything and you have to learn from that. Once trust is betrayed it is very hard to regain that trust. Maybe its best now you take time out for yuorselfs and see what its like living life without being in contact. Sounds like its very hard for you 2 to let go because of the history and love involved between you to. Im not sure what else to say accept if you truely love eachother.. dont give up.

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A female reader, Lovecraze United States +, writes (25 August 2009):

Lovecraze is verified as being by the original poster of the question

During the semester we usually talk 1-2 times a week if we have an argument we stop talking for about a week.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009):

Sounds like you guys are in love, but are struggling with the distance. How often do you go without talking? 1 week? 2 weeks? I am currantly in the same boat as you but im the guy in the situation. I guess i find the distance hard to bear with, and i get really upset knowing she is with other guys, so i run from the situation. How often do u go without talking?

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