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How can I let go and move past my experiences and build up my confidence

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 February 2013) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 February 2013)
A male age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I grew up being told that I am a very ugly person and it killed myself esteem. I remember an incident when my friend and I were walking and we ran into some of my female classmates, they all said hello to him and gave him hugs and one of them asked why are they not greeting me and they looked at me like I was the lowest form of trash and just plain out disgusting, and these were the nice girls. I have more incidents but this was the first time I was treated this way by people who were usually kind.

It came to the point where I couldn't look myself in the mirror because I hated myself and I actually cried by myself on several occasions because I was ugly. I had a crush on a girl but I just didn't have the confidence to really go after her because I was afraid of her friends (they were very mean). However, I did tell her I like her and she told her friends and I was the laughing stock of the school for a while.

I don't have any confidence in myself because of my history with girls. A few girls have been interested in me since then but I didn't have the confidence to do anything and if i am attracted to a girl I just tell myself i am not her type without even trying.

How can I let go and move past my experiences and build up my confidence and put myself out there and not be afraid of rejection and humiliation?

P.S. The friend i was walking with was a chic magnet and the girl who was trying to be nice to me had the biggest crush on the guy

View related questions: confidence, crush, my ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2013):

Hi

It does not mean if you are goodlooking or even average looking that you dont get rejected. We all have at some point either been rejected or dumped. So dont just assume its looks, you would be amazed at how many beautiful girls end up with average guys. The trick is to dress presentably, be confident and friendly and learn to charm her.

ALso dont move to just asking a girl out, try first being friends and then charm her about your romantic notions. At first glance maybe there is no interest but when she sees the confidence and the wonderful person you are, trust me anything can happen.

Like I said start making friends and learn the art of flirting. Also start with believing in yourself. Goodluck. NB I was an average looking girl but educated myself and learnt to believe in myself and ofcourse look attractive in dressing and carried myself with confidence. I married a very goodlooking guy and he is so scared to loose me!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2013):

I was the same as you I was usually a laughing stock I used myself to make people laugh. I was told I was ugly to my face too. What I think you think on is take a risk on something it doesn't have to be a chick you wanna date just on something. Start there and take a risk on something else. You will fail at lots believe you me. But you will feel better about yourself for trying. Girls are hard to read you have to know what you want and take the the plunge when you are not afraid to fail at love. Cause I still fail at it. But it doesn't hurt as much anymore when I get rejected

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