A
male
age
36-40,
*dam waterford
writes:Dear Cupid,My problem is that I am 'relationship-phobic' (be it friendships or relationships) and find it impossible to trust people, even if I want to. Whenever I meet someone I want to avoid getting close to them. My life is hell because of it. Sometimes I go whole days without speaking a word to a living soul - as I have no friends or acquaintances - this is entirely my fault because I am actually quite popular and always get invited to parties etc. but I turn these invitations down mostly. Also, at 21 I have never been on a date. I've met girls that I really like in the past but can never bring myself to warm up to them - even to the ones that constantly show that they are interested in me.All this may be down to the fact that as a child I was physically and emotionally abused by my parents at home, and peers at school. I used to get quite depressed and tried to kill myself twice in the past. Also, my parent's marriage was'nt particularly loving even though they are still together. As a result I developed an aversion to all types of relationships - espiecially romantic ones.But now that approach seems to have misfired - because 18 months ago I met the love of my life - but couldn't bring myself to get informal with her because of my fear - despite the fact that she was 100% into me, honestly she was literally mine for the taking. She eventually gave up on me and to cut a long story short, and I don't know what to do with my life. However, next time something like this happens I want to be able to follow my heart - so do you have any ideas?Many Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): Hi Hunny,
Im glad it was a help for you love, And I hope everything goes well for you TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A
male
reader, adam waterford +, writes (4 February 2008):
adam waterford is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMany thanks to all three of you
Ive listened and I have an appointment with a counsellor on Wednesday 5th Feb
Special thanks to Mandy7 - the links were a real eyeopener - thanks so so much for your help
Love Adam XXXXX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2008): Hi Hunny,
I understand perfectly where you are right now love, I was in a very abusive relationship for 6yrs and was diagnosed with post traumatic stress and at the moment am receiving a treatment called E.M.D.R
I will send you some links to help you hunny, And I suggest you see a counsellor as they will be able to point you in the right direction as you are worth so much you must never loose faith in yourself as an indervidual love what happens in our past can affect our future but try to see it as a learning experience and grow from it, Not easy I no but hunny if I can do it anyone can I do hope you feel better soon and I hope these links help
http://www.secasa.com.au/index.php/survivors/9/57
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EMDR
http://www.socialphobia.org/social.html#top Here are the links love If you need a chat message me ok TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2008): I think you need to see a therapist your past abuse is affecting your current life. You need to remember that every person is different, some you can trust and some you can't.
Good Luck
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