A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How can i tell if hes a great, awesome guy, or a perverted jerk?One of my friends, fred, seems to me to be a great guy. Flirty and has a bit of a dirty sense of humor but overall a great guy. But some people think that he is a perverted jerk who uses girls to get what he wants. I havent seen this side of him...I mean he is percieved as flirting with a lot of girls. But i talked about this w/him and he said he wasnt meaning to flirt he was just being friendly. (which i can relate to) He does do certain things w/his female friends that are closer to him, like slap their butts, but just as a joke. I'm thinking the 2 people are just taking him the wrong way, but i am a bit too trusting sometimes and i dont want to get hurt by him somehow. What should i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou guys were right, he earned his reputation. Lucky for me I wised up before he could use me fully.
A
female
reader, white rose  +, writes (20 August 2009):
try dressing up with a sexy outfit if his starring at you and a bit of day dreaming then his a pervert.
if he just said that your beautiful im not sure
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question"Stop and picture how he gets along with you. Imagine if you were his official GF, and you were secretly catching him being this way with some other girl behind your back. Would it still seem so innocent and sweet then?"
Actually he doesnt do it secretly. He does it in front of his girlfriend. She doesn't care. He enjoys joking around like that and so does she.
"Guys who specifically enjoy doing something you have told them not to do are guys to steer clear of.
It is not because they want you to be comfortable, it's because they enjoy watching someone feeling humiliated."
They won't do it if they know you're really afraid of it or something. Its kind of a joke. Like my other friend i used as an example, the one who has ticklish feet, she kind of likes it when they tickle her anyway. and if she gets sick of it and tells them to stop they do. They just like to joke around with people.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (15 December 2008):
he and his brother are the type of guys who if they find out ur not comfortable w/something will do it to u until u get comfortable w/them.
Not cool.
Guys who specifically enjoy doing something you have told them not to do are guys to steer clear of.
It is not because they want you to be comfortable, it's because they enjoy watching someone feeling humiliated.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008): The initially decent guy turns out to be the jerk a hell of a lot more often than the initial jerk turns out to be a decent guy.
If he's got that reputation, then he's probably earned it honestly.
Stop and picture how he gets along with you. Imagine if you were his official GF, and you were secretly catching him being this way with some other girl behind your back. Would it still seem so innocent and sweet then?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI doubt the sources of his rep b/c 1 is his best friend, who also happens to be jealous of him b/c fred is good-looking and gets all the girls and he is not. The other one is my best friend, who doesnt know him that well. She thinks this b/c of what greg told her and bc one one occasion he tried to undo her bra strap. (which is because he and his brother are the type of guys who if they find out ur not comfortable w/something will do it to u until u get comfortable w/them. i.e. another friend is very ticklish on her feet. so they tickle her.) My friend is being nicer about him lately so maybe she's going to give him another chance.
All the others I've talked to that hang out w/him or have known him for awhile seem to think he's ok. (then again, most of those girls have crushed on him in the past too!)
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (15 December 2008):
If he has a reputation like that it is usually for a reason.
There is a guy here who cheats on his wife a LOT and is an absolutely evil guy.
The first few times I met him he was UTTERLY charming and lovely. They always are. If they were horrible then they wouldn't get what they want. If he really is like that then of course he's going to come across as lovely.
Talk to the people who told you this and ask them if he has slept with girls and dumped them or what. I don't think they could base that opinion on the fact he is a bit flirty so it's likely you haven't heard the full story.
Good Luck!! xx
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