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How can I help my brother? He was only trying to protect me?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 March 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 18 March 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, *auryn writes:

I'm 21 and most people think I live a very privileged life. I have a twin brother and people call us spoiled, bratty and out of control.

I will admit that we have pushed our limited with family, school and the law. But now we both are paying for it.

About 6 months ago we both were partying very hard, using drugs and sleeping around. I got involved with the wrong type of guy and he was emotional, physical and sexually abusive. One night we got into a huge fight and when I tried to leave he hit me and forced me to have sex with him. I was ashamed and didn't want the "we told you he was a bad guy talk" so instead of telling anyone my brother said he would take care of it.

A few nights later he found him and beat the crap out of him and I thought that was the end of it. Until a few weeks ago, I didn't realize that the guy was talking shit about me every time he seen my brother and I guess my brother got pissed and him and a few friends followed him home and things got way out of hand and they ended up beating him pretty bad, he is still in the hospital and my brother is now being charged with attempted murder.

How can I help my brother? He was only trying to protect me?

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A female reader, foxy7727 United States +, writes (18 March 2009):

foxy7727 agony auntyes i think you should tell your parents and lawyer even though your brother said not to its the whole reason behind it and if u dont help the lawyer out how in the world is he suposed to help him? another thing ur brother was only protecting u even if he did carry it way to far and should of been the bigger person and walked away. further he isnt the only one who should take blame concidering his friends just jumped right in. u need to tell them in my opinion good luck and i hope all ends well with your brothers case.

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A female reader, Lauryn United States +, writes (18 March 2009):

Lauryn is verified as being by the original poster of the question

My parents have hired the best lawyers they know, but we havent told them about why my brother was after this guy. My brother has just kept quite about everything. Do I tell my parents and the lawyers even though my brother told me not too???

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A female reader, wonderingcat United Kingdom +, writes (18 March 2009):

wonderingcat agony auntI'm not sure in the eyes of the law that what your brother did was considered "protecting you". If it happened a few days later, it sounded more "premeditated" than "defending" you.

So, if you can afford it, the best way to help your twin brother is to hire a very good lawyer who can convince the judge, the jury (if there is one), and basically beat the prosecutor's arguments on your brother's action being a premeditated crime and/or attempted murder.

Good luck!

Cat

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009):

Wow, you're on a road to destruction. I hope you've learned a valuable lesson and are careful in choosing the men you date. Do you really want people to think like me? (glad I don't have her life) sorry, but sometimes we need a wake up call.

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (18 March 2009):

k_c100 agony auntThere's nothing you can do here apart from be there to support him. This was something your brother and his friends did, and no matter what the reason it is not accpetable to put a person into hospital. He does deserve to be punished for his actions, even though what the guy did to you was arguably worse. You should have gone to the police about this guy you were involved with in the first place, so then your brother wouldnt be in this situation.

You will just have to stand by your brother, be there for him when he needs you and hope that the jury go easy on him or that you have a very good defence lawyer.

I'm very sorry that you are going through this, it will be a tough time for you and your brother. Stay strong for his sake is all you can do.

I hope this helps and good luck!

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