A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Recently my wife rang me on my way home from work to tell me that it was over and that she didnt love me any more and that she means it for good. 2 months have past by and i have had to get legal advice to get contact with our two kids. Once I had got her attention i have been able to see them for 4hours on a friday afternoon and on sundays from 9am till 6pm.It has been so hard to understand why she has left as i love her very much and the kids. All I have done is work my ass off to provide and as things got harder with the recession and no overtime in work and pay cuts all she ever wanted was for me to spend more time with her and the kids. How can I get her to understand things form my point of view when she wont even talk to me. I want my wife and kids back as they are my life and all that I have worked hard for. What can I do to show how much I still love her and the kids and want us to start again. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (4 May 2009):
 Hi, I don't think the way your wife decided to end your relationship allowed you to know where on earth things went wrong and you still have an awful lot of unanswered questions.
Is there anyone else in her life to your knowledge?
Some sort of counselling or mediation may be a way forward for you both but you both need to want to make it work and if she is giving you no answers then this may be something she is unwilling to go forward with. Couple counselling I would say is your best bet but again both parties need to agree, you could check out what is available via your local CAB (Citizens Advice Bureau) as going via solicitors will only be costly and something they may try to talk your wife out of on her side.
See what is available as there used to be some sort of mediation service, even if you explain to her that it is in both of your interests and that of your children.
How old are your children?
The normal rule in the UK for access is every other weekend and this is something I started with my ex some years ago and works really well, if there is an odd weekend throughout the year when we want to swap or rearrange we talk about it, we were never married but our daughter who is 8 knows that mummy and daddy are very amicable but occasionally we won't agree on something but generally we have tried to remain as amicable as possible for her sake.
School holiday access also needs to be established and I would have thought that she wouldn't have restricted your access so much, 4 hours on a Friday and again on a Sunday is not good, however you may only end up seeing them fortnightly instead. It would be a routine for them and depending on where you are staying right now could be why she is not being exactly over helpful.
Try looking into your options but go down the cheap route first before getting solicitors running up a large tab on your behalves.
Keep us posted eh!.
BFN
Country Woman
A
female
reader, sheela  +, writes (4 May 2009):
Being a lady and a wife i can tell u. She wanted your company. If you earn enough from your present job, no need to go for extra work. Instead spend more time with her and kids. Give her some free time by taking children to park some days. Some other days you can keep children with grandparents and go with your wife for a romantic evening. Youlove her, i know, but you have to express it. Contact her next time you go to see your children and tell her that you love her very much and you will make efforts in future to express your love in action rather than keeping in mind. I am sure she wants that only.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): Aww..My dad left my mom some yrs ago..I rarely ever se my dad..Since he has a girlfriend..i found it hard..but if you still love your wife tell her how you feel!..WOW..only four hours with your kids thats abit harsh..
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