A
male
age
51-59,
*licat_01
writes:My wife and I have been married since October last year. We had been living together from January last year though. Up until we got married our sex life was good, but since we have been married we haven't had sex once. I just don't feel like it anymore. I know it is not my wife because she is very good at sex. I have just lost getting an erection when we are in bed. She tries to get me excited by trying to touch me, but nothing happens with my libido. I know it is really upsetting my wife, as she thinks I don't love her or fancy her anymore, but I have told her she is totally wrong. I have and always will love and fancy her. I have had blood tests for testosterone levels, but they came back normal. I know something needs to be done soon, but I really don't know what I can do. Can anyone please give me some sound advice on how to get my sex life back?
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erection, libido, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (7 April 2008):
 My first thought was Viagra or Cialis (sildenafil citrate) as "peaches83" suggested, but it apparently only works if you have the desire during sexual stimulation. But you say that "nothing happens with your libido." That may be why some have suggested that excess stress may be at the root of the problem.
Nevertheless, sildenafil is worth a try. It's quite amazing, and your doctor may well be able to provide a sample pack. It would not be all that unusual for a man in the late 30s or 40s to have erectile dysfunction issues.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008): I suppose first you need to look at your mental state. Any stress from the marriage, work, family or friends? Did any of these things occur when your sex drive was noticiably less? How is your health? Do you eat right, excercise? Did the sex go down right after marriage? How was the honeymoon? Sex okay? Are you over weight? How is the communication between you and your wife? Still feel like a stud, or do you feel like a wimp?
These are some of the questions that need to be answered to eliminate possible causes.
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A
female
reader, peaches83 +, writes (7 April 2008):
 Ok there are maybe a number of wasy in which you can do this. You could try the good old viagra for a start.
You say the problem has only been accuring since you were married. So how about some role playing. Maybe your wife go into a bar and you go chat her up as a stranger do the whole meeting each other again. Also try other things, porn, watching your wife please her self.
Hope it works out.
Peaches
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A
female
reader, I care  +, writes (7 April 2008):
 If your tired or stressed out this might cause you not to get excited but if this is not the case then you guys should start trying knew things like maybe playing out some fantasy of yours talk to your wife in great depth about your fantasies and see what becomes of it or spice things up with things from the naughty shop. I hope this helps and all the best to you and your bride for a happy future.
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