A
female
age
36-40,
*tarlight starbright
writes:I just started dating, I believe, the most handsome, charismatic and fun loving guy I've ever met. I think he's wonderful and he says the same thing about myself also. Up until very recently upon realizing what may actually come of us (which is the beginning of something serious), I've started to buld some anxiety about me self sabotaging myself and screwing up this thing I have going for myself. I have this complex of feeling like everything good I've had at one point I've blown unintentionally. Because of this I notice myself becoming a little reserved with him now. Not as talkative (for fear of saying something stupid) and over correcting everyday mishaps. I'm so worried that I'm doing something wrong that, sure enough, I am doing things wrong. I'm only a couple of days into this "spell" so it's totally corrective but how do I get my mind right so that I don't mess this up? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): You have lost already.
Your talk is of defeat. How do i not lose him?
You have already accepted you are the begger and he is the prince.
Positive talk, is 'this is the man i'm going to marry if he can live up to my high standards'.
You need to change your mindset.
Good luck
A
female
reader, Anaphora  +, writes (22 December 2008):
 It sounds like you need to relax. Try not to think so much. Let your instincts guide you for a while. Trust me, once you relax it'll feel amazing. Just believe in yourself.
Also, try not to focus so much on how handsome, charismatic and fun loving he is. He seems pretty amazing, but trust me, he has his own worries too. He is just like any other guy, so just relax around him.
The next time you're with him, block out all your negative thoughts and only focus on the positive. Tell yourself you're an amazing woman and believe in yourself. After all, he already thinks you're wonderful!
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A
male
reader, Griffo +, writes (22 December 2008):
 Let loose have fun don't worry and just enjoy it. Become good friends first.
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