A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi My question is what should i do about this situation my best friend tried to have sex with me and i hurt her feelings and now she hates me. My best friend is a girl she ive known her for forever we just get along so well and have alot of fun togather shes really smart. The other day we where at my house i was making her a playlist and we started talking we got on the subject of sex somehow and she told me she was a virgin i laughed by accident i really dont believe her but she swore she is.I asked her why she is telling me and she said she didnt kno so i was like ok and then she said she would prove it, so i asked her how she said she said she wanted to loose her virginity to me,well i was kinda shocked i didnt kno what to say i just asked her why me.The thing is ive known ths girl her whole life are families go back aways shes more like a sister, me and her just connect for some reason shes not like other girls she doesnt dress pretty she hangs out with me at the garage and goes to the junkyard with me were like a team for along time, shes pretty i always thought she was but girls are supposed to be pretty to me so its just natural.I dont have alot of friends most people dont get me dont hang with many guys my age cause there to competitive im not relaxed around them this girl does every thing with me, i saw her naked once it was a bet and she lost so she had to run out in snow storm naked.Also she takes this medication cause shes really hyper and i dont like when she takes it cause she so down and no fun so i told her she should only take it if shes goin someplace where has has to be chill. Ok after told her i wasnt gonna have sex with her she just just flipped and ran out. i couldnt get in contact with her for a week. I had the strangest feeling that whole time i missed her so bad like i actually felt kind of sick i had a stomach ache and everything. Everyone seemed to know we got into a fight and assumed i did somehting bad to her they didnt say it but i could see the dirty looks.when i finally found her she was just being all elusive I just told her i missed her and asked her if where still friends she said she didnt kno Well that was two days ago i honestly dont kno what im gonna do with out her i miss her so bad all the jokes we used to play on each other i miss her voice and her laugh her smile.so what did i do wrong i really didnt think she was serious why does she care if i have sex with her shes not ugly she can get any guy. its not like you can just do it on a whim you gotta think about it i was planing on getting a gf soon i have just been busy and truthfully ive never even been with a girl i admit i would be to shy.any one know how i can get my friend back i dont want to live with out her sorry this was long
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female
reader, tjazzy  +, writes (23 December 2009):
You don't have to sleep with her as a favor. that's the worst reason to sleep with anyone, especially a virgin. Tell her the stuff you just said, "She's a really great person, she's pretty and can get any guy she wants but you wouldn't want to ruin your friendship by introducing sex into it" or something like that. If she's the sport that you say she is, she will eventually understand that you're not rejecting her , but she's more like a great sister or buddy and you would'nt want to lose that for the world. It's better to do that, than for you both to have sex and then be embarrassed if it isn't as great as you both expected and then you start behaving awkward around each other and around others. You even said your families are very alert to the nature of the relationship between you guys, so if you mess with her (though she asked for it) you will be the villain, she will be the victim and a long and beautiful friendship will be destroyed. Think about it. Tell her no. And if she starts avoiding you then so be it. At least your conscience is clear that you were a gentleman, not an opportunist who took advantage of a friend.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2009): Well Mr it sounds like your feelings might be a little deeper then you actually think. Being a girl I can say that she doesn't hate you, she's just been humiliated. Not your fault. This is something that she's probably put some thought into, being that shes a virgin, it was probably really hard for her to ask you. Maybe you need to figure out what you want out of this girl? Friendship or romance? By what you wrote, it really sounds as though you've got some pretty strong feelings for her. Talk to her, if your willing to give it a shot, take it slow. She would be appreciative. Otherwise, you need to talk to her anyway to set some boundaries. Apologize to her for not realizing how big of a deal is was to her to ask you about sex. Let her know that you understand why she might be hurt right now. Let her know that YOU are hurt also by not having her around. She's probably too embarrassed to show her face right now, it will subside. The best thing I can tell you to do is figure out what you want... Don't miss out on what could be a good thing if persued.
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