A
female
age
26-29,
*irlygurrl...xo
writes:This sounds really pathetic considering I am so young, but hey, relationships are a big deal at my age. So here are my questions:1. I have always had a soft spot for two of my closest guy mates and now I know one of them has developed even more feelings for me. We flirt all the time but should i just cut it all off with him until things cool down?2. I messed up a few weeks ago with a guy I really was head over heels for, however, I messed it up on purpose because I was afraid he would behave as my ex did. Now I know he never would of done that and I can tell when we talk now he is still a bit 'off' with me. How can I get him to understand why I messed up and get us back to how we were?Thankyou so much x
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female
reader, girlygurrl...xo +, writes (9 February 2012):
girlygurrl...xo is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you so much for the advice I reeeeally appreciate it. I messed up by telling him there was no point because he isn't staying on for sixth form and that we wouldn't be bothered to put the effort in.
I really like my guy friend so I think I'm going to see how it goes, because, the guy I messed up with is a player I have finally realised.
When he still 'loved' me he went out with this other girl to get over me, and that makes me think he'll cheat or hurt me like yet another girl he dated.
Thanks guys! If you have anymore amazing words of wisdom I'm lsitening!
A
female
reader, elise22  +, writes (8 February 2012):
 Okay, first of all, love is never pathetic. Relationships are tough, especially since you are so young, so it's okay that you're asking for advice.First, you have to decide which of all these guys you like best. When you know this, all of the other guys are out of the question (for now). Because even if this guy (the one you want to be with most) isn't interested, would you want to be with someone when you like another guy more? That wouldn't exactly be fair. So, to answer your first question, you definitely shouldn't do anything with this guy friend until you're 100% sure you really like him and no-one else, because trying something when you're not really into it will ruin your friendship. Besides, he will be hurt, especially since you know he really likes you. You don't have to cut off the entire friendship, unless he needs the space to get over you.And if you like the other guy best but it doesn't work out, please don't go out with your friend as a second choice! I'm not saying it could never work, but give it some time. Get over the other guy first and then decide if you like your friend enough. If it's the guy you were head over heels for that you really want to be with, just talk to him. If you already know he likes you back, he's probably just 'off' because you hurt him. Just tell him why you did what you did, and hopefully he'll understand.I don't know you or the boys you are referring to, but I do know that friendship is a really good basis for a relationship (if there's attraction as well). I also know that if you have really strong 'head over heels'-type of feelings for someone, it might cloud your judgement (whether it's about his character, or about you two being a good match). That being said, if I were in the same situation, I would go for the 'head over heels'-guy. I'm a romantic, and I want to be desperately in love.. What I'm trying to say is, just listen very closely to your intuition, it will tell you which guy to choose. Good luck, and keep us posted! xx
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A
male
reader, landomando  +, writes (8 February 2012):
Its hard to do at a younger age but i know at 13-15 i couldnt do this but just straight up tell him. dont beat around the bush. dont drag it on. Just tell him the truth. If the truth doesnt get him to understand, I doubt a lie will or anything else will. and i wouldnt lie. or mislead. just tell him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2012): As you say, you are very young. Lots of dating etc at your age is about exploring life. Have fun and don't put too much emotional input into any one boy - that is my advice. Maybe not what you want to hear but believe me, you have a lifetime of grappling with relationships ahead.
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