A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My bf and I are a couple for two years (almost) - I'm 22 he's 25. I usually go to sleep around 12 at midnight and sometimes I talk to my boyfriend on the internet before doing it and he says "ok, I'll do the same". But he never does it! He's going to work the next day and he's doing absolutely nothing constructive in front of the computer, just "chilling". And I told him (not in a nagging motherly tone) that he needs rest so he should go to bed earlier than he usually does (around two to three AM). I mean he gets to sleep four to five hours, which is not ok for his mental health. In time he'll become a vegetable and I don't want that. It bothers me that he says he will but he never does it. I haven't asked him to throw himself in a lion cage, I just want him to get more rest, because during the day, he's sleepy and sometimes he finds it hard to make conversation. How could I make him go to sleep earlier ? Not at ten PM, he's not a baby, but at least at twelve at midnight...
View related questions:
the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (27 February 2011):
 It sounds like the problem really isn't that bad. If he doesn't do it when your with him and he still likes to go out and do other things with you, then what he chooses to do after work when your not there is his business, not yours. So Leave him alone. Stop being a nag.
He has made his choice.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh, he doesn't have withdrawal symptoms, when I ask him out, he's ok with it, we do things together (he's usually the one to suggest that we spend the weekends together or go to holidays), when I come over to his place he doesn't ignore me for his computer, which is ok.
What is NOT ok is the fact that, when I'm not there, he always finds something to do in front of the computer. Sometimes he's working from home for his work projects, but most of time he's lying idle, watching movies. I tell him he should go to sleep earlier, he tells "ok" but he's ignoring completely! That's more revolting: 1) he's destroying his mental health;
2) he's disrespecting me (he says "ok, I'll go to bed" just to get rid of my nagging).
I understand, no one likes to be told what to do, but if one knows HOW to approach the subject, everything should be fine. I don't want to sound like his mom, I mean he's not a baby anymore, but why is he acting like one ?
...............................
A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (27 February 2011):
Well he is not a baby but you may have to take something away from him to get his attention.
Maybe the next time you are with him and he is to tired to talk. You should get up and leave immediately. When he asks where you are going say you have better things to do then sit with a man that's to dumb to put himself to bed on time and to tired to hold a conversation with his girlfriend. Do this enough and he should quickly get the message that your patience is wearing thin.
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (27 February 2011):
 he's addicted to his computer. In some countries this condition is treated very seriously and group therapy away from home are held to try to cure the addiction.
It will impact on his health, his weight, and relationships.
You could try to propose a holiday maybe hiking? Where there is no electricity. But
his withdrawal symptoms would probably ruin the holiday.
He possibly has no idea how this impacts on his life balance.
Try to schedule some very active physical activities that will get him out of the home. Like cycling. Swimming/water skiing when weather permits.
Also consider some couples counselling, even if the counsellor comes to your home. And address the over-use of computer.
Or get him involved in some physical home projects, like repainting rooms.
He needs some distracting activities.
I'm sure you have already talked to bits about this problem.
Also download some material from internet on computer addiction to see if there are any other strategies that could help too
Good luck with this very common problem
Regards Abella
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (27 February 2011):
he's addicted to his computer. In some countries this condition is treated very seriously and group therapy away from home are held to try to cure the addiction.
It will impact on his health, his weight, and relationships.
You could try to propose a holiday maybe hiking? Where there is no electricity. But
his withdrawal symptoms would probably ruin the holiday.
He possibly has no idea how this impacts on his life balance.
Try to schedule some very active physical activities that will get him out of the home. Like cycling. Swimming/water skiing when weather permits.
Also consider some couples counselling, even if the counsellor comes to your home. And address the over-use of computer.
Or get him involved in some physical home projects, like repainting rooms.
He needs some distracting activities.
I'm sure you have already talked to bits about this problem.
Also download some material from internet on computer addiction to see if there are any other strategies that could help too
Good luck with this very common problem
Regards Abella
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (27 February 2011):
he's addicted to his computer. In some countries this condition is treated very seriously and group therapy away from home are held to try to cure the addiction.
It will impact on his health, his weight, and relationships.
You could try to propose a holiday maybe hiking? Where there is no electricity. But
his withdrawal symptoms would probably ruin the holiday.
He possibly has no idea how this impacts on his life balance.
Try to schedule some very active physical activities that will get him out of the home. Like cycling. Swimming/water skiing when weather permits.
Also consider some couples counselling, even if the counsellor comes to your home. And address the over-use of computer.
Or get him involved in some physical home projects, like repainting rooms.
He needs some distracting activities.
I'm sure you have already talked to bits about this problem.
Also download some material from internet on computer addiction to see if there are any other strategies that could help too
Good luck with this very common problem
Regards Abella
...............................
|
