A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So once upon a time (a few months ago) I hooked up with a guy friend and things were fine. He said he would want to do it again and all that but then someone found out and it caused a lot of problems. At that point he backed out, stopped talking to me and said maybe one day again in the future. I'm fine with the absence of emotions that comes with the just hooking up, but is there any way to get him back sooner? We rarely talk anymore and truthfully I'm not sure what to talk about (when we actually do) anymore. We used to be really good friends and it's just disappointing to not be able to talk anymore. Any ideas on how to get back to at least us talking again? Or even better back up to the physical again? He's sort of turned into a dick the past few months, and I can certainly live life without him, it's just more fun with him. So any ideas? (: Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (13 January 2010):
If he's backed off, he's not interested. And if he's a dick, you can do better.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (13 January 2010):
If he backed off, he's really not that interested in you. I know you're trying to be okay with "it's just a hookup" but if that's all it was then you'd probably not care about him. If you see him just tell him hi, be friendly and whatnot, but don't try to push anything. Trying to push someone into wanting something that they're not interested in usually backfires even more. If he's being distant, be twice as distant.
Just don't worry about it. Like they always say, guys want what they cannot have, so just don't bother. If he comes around he does, if he doesn't then that's the end of it. Throwing yourself at him and making hints usually don't work either and you don't want to lower yourself into looking like some easy girl he can just use whenever he feels like it. There's a lot more guys out there anyway, so don't give him the time of day if he's not giving you the time of day.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2010): sometimes time can make people forget awkward hookups. i once hooked up with a guy friend who i never thought of as anything more than a friend beforehand. after the one drunken hookup, i was suddenly smitten but he backed off and i stopped hearing from him.
a year later, i saw him at some parties, and we had a good laugh and things seemed normal again. we are friends again, although we never talked about the hookup.
so moral of the story, give him some time, busy yourself with other things, and if he stays distant then let it go.
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A
female
reader, lioness32 +, writes (13 January 2010):
 Ok does this guy friend have another girlfriend? i mean what else could keep you guys from hooking up. Whoever found out must really have a serious influence on his decision making, so i would say don't wait for him, you're very young and trust me they'll be many more.
And if you were sexually active with him, he might just be trying to move on. Again i say don't wait for him.
Take care
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2010): If you are so cool with sex without emotions then you will be cool with being treated like a Kleenex tissue- discared when used too nasty to reuse and now trash. Get the metaphor?
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