A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:I love my ex boyfriend so much. We were so in love but then he broke up with me saying he didn't want a relationship anymore:( A year later I'm still cryin and missing him. I can't get him out my heart and my head. Yesterday I rang him, he missed the call so he rang me straight back.we chatted. He was talking so much. When I hung up he texted me in the evening "it was nice hearing from you today it made my day" I texted me back "we can work on being friends again" cos I said we couldn't be friends after the break up. But now I do. I know he still cares about me.his actions tells me he loves but. How do I get him back? What tips can I use here? Please help me..xWe've been texting all day today.x
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female
reader, Deagan  +, writes (20 March 2012):
 You can't "get him back." He has to make that decision on his own.
Don't lead yourself on thinking this is the process of getting back together- you don't know what he really wants. Which is why you should tell him how you honestly feel. Let it all out in the open. Playing the "just friends" game can come back to bite the both of you in the rear. Don't waste time, tell him! It'll spare you restless nights wondering what's to become of the both of you! Good luck!
A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (20 March 2012):
The sooner you tell him you want to get back together with him the better.
This "just being friends" with anyone after breaking up with them, or anyone you have a crush on, or anyone that you are attracted to that is off-limits is just a recipe for pure madness, and your psychological torture will NEVER END.
So if you want him back be up front about it. Don't pretend its anything else. You could develop quite a nice friendship that will leave you secretly dying for him while he, having no clue of your intent, goes and hooks up with someone else. Or it simply winds up with him no longer being interested in you that way, and you have wasted your time.
It could be the entirety of insanity could be summed up in just one word: "Maybe". Maybe we can get back together. Maybe he will realize what he had. Maybe I want to be with him. Maybe he wants me back. I would trade all this maybe stuff in for an "Its never going to happen" any day of the week.
Get yourself clear on your intentions and on his. If it ends up not working, do NOT look back.
On the positive side, an honest flat-out approach is the ONLY hope you have of getting this guy back.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (20 March 2012):
 I think what happened to your ex is that he realizes single life is not what it's all cracked up to be, and that he tried dating others and he still loves you. He is testing the waters to see if you are still interested in him, at the same time he feels he doesn't deserve you because a break up for a selfish reason is indeed a betrayal. When you get him back you won't be getting the same him back. Be realistic that when if you do get him back you will always wonder if he loves you, will he break up again. You will have a curiosity about other men, because you will assume that a man who truly loves you would never break up with you. I know it is great to regain something you have lost. Just be realistic that the feelings of insecurity would be there. He is the one who bailed out so he has to be the one to give you reasons why this time he would stick around and not just string you along because he is lonely and you are the only one who would love him like that. All you have to do is show interest and keep talking.
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