A
female
age
30-35,
*hicaBlusera
writes:I'm so scared that I'm never going to be happy. I would like to have a boyfriend, but I know very few people like me, who are attracted to people of a different culture or background. I'm an American and Floridian of mixed British and European Spanish ancestry, but I've always been super attracted to latin men. Even as a child I was very interested in latin culture and felt out of place in American culture. There's nothing wrong with white American men, but I'm simply not attracted to them. I've lived in Mexico, and I have loads of Mexican friends, and I think they would be great boyfriends, but every time one of them gets a girlfriend, it's always a girl from his own culture (except my gay friends). People tell me that I just haven't met the "right American man" or that I'm closing my mind, but they don't understand me. I'm definitely not racist, and I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings, but latin men seem to understand me better and they're simply more "magical" for me. It's about chemistry and attraction, my gay friends are attracted to other guys, they're not sexist, or closed minded, it's just their orientation. I just know in my heart that I can only love a latino, but it just seems like it's human nature to date people of the same background and culture. I'm just different. How can I get a latin guy to notice me as a girlfriend? I really love Mexican guys, they are handsome, sweet and romantic but I've noticed that they don't seem interested in foreign girls! (I know we foreign girls have a bad reputation but I'm not promiscuous, I've never even had relations and I'm 29!!) Are all latin countries the same in this respect? If you can help me thank you.
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female
reader, ChicaBlusera +, writes (28 June 2008):
ChicaBlusera is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat's okay Daniel, if you find it let me know, please! It sounds so sweet!! Suena muy dulce! :)
A
male
reader, Danielepew  + ♥, writes (27 June 2008):
 I just learned that it is called "corn hair" in English.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew + ♥, writes (27 June 2008):
I'm sorry I couldn't find another song I had for you, Chica Blusera. "My girl with the hair of corn" In case you don't know, corn cobs have long, blonde "hairs". There's this song in which a rough peasant from the remote mountains sings like this:
Where is my girl with the hair of corn?
Where is my little virgin (meaning, beautiful woman)?
She left for the Yunai (the "United States"),
Please, please be back, my dear mistress (woman master)"
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A
female
reader, ChicaBlusera +, writes (26 June 2008):
ChicaBlusera is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMuchas gracias Daniel! Me dio risa (Carito no es el unico que se siente nostalgia jejeje)...
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A
male
reader, Danielepew + ♥, writes (25 June 2008):
Chica Blusera, aquí te va:
http://es.youtube.com/watch?v=va1TYFeMdeI
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A
male
reader, Danielepew + ♥, writes (24 June 2008):
Muchas gracias por el elogio :-), Chica Blusera. No te desesperes que tu momento ha de llegar. ¡Cómo me habría gustado que las gringas que he conocido pensaran como tú!
¿Alguna vez has oído "Carito", de Carlos Vives? Te la recomiendo... Si no, busca la letra en Google y te va a gustar. Yo le mandé ese video a una burra que no me quiso.
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A
female
reader, ChicaBlusera +, writes (24 June 2008):
ChicaBlusera is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHola daniel,
Muchas gracias por contestar mi pregunta, no es que he cerrado la puerta pero se en mi corazon que los demas no me atraen, no es tanto la aparencia fisica pero los latinos son mas romanticos, carinosos, calidos.
Pero, gracias por escuchar mi problema y por la buena onda :)
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A
male
reader, Danielepew + ♥, writes (24 June 2008):
No hay problema, Chica Blusera. Alguien te aparecerá, pero no te cierres las puertas tú sola.
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A
female
reader, ChicaBlusera +, writes (24 June 2008):
ChicaBlusera is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAclaro que hablo espanol ;)
Oh yes I speak Spanish... I think that's one reason I like latin men, I really would like someone who can talk to me in Spanish, it seems like a little thing but it means a lot to me
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A
male
reader, Danielepew + ♥, writes (24 June 2008):
Annalisa, you and I are Latin, and we know it, but Americans don't. The poster thinks in English and sees herself as American.
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A
female
reader, Annalisa  +, writes (24 June 2008):
 Erhm... Do you realise you are Latin yourself???
You're probably attracted to men who remind you of your Spanish ancestry (Latin culture came from Europe, that's why Mexicans speak Spanish)!
However, you might just be going for men you have nothing else in common with. Another idea is that you might need to simply focus on getting to know people you share interests with or who you meet through work. You might think only Mexican men are your type, but most women actually find true love with men who remind them of their father, so you might have a real surprise in store!
God bless you and good luck!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew + ♥, writes (24 June 2008):
Dear poster, I'm glad I found your question, because I can help you. I happen to be a Mexican man who prefers Americans or Canadians. I can very much relate to what you are saying here: it is not that I don't like women of my own culture, but I have a preference for women like you. The thing is, I know what a Latin woman would be like, and I prefer not to be able to expect what the girl will come up with.
There is nothing wrong in feeling an attraction for a particular kind of person. There's no racism in it, either. We all have preferences. Yours happens to be different than what is expected from people like you; that's all.
You are wrong in believing that you can only date Latin men. You can date anyone, dear. In this, your friends are right: don't keep your options limited to one single kind of people. It would be the same mistake that the Mexicans you meet are making. Or the same mistake that the Americans like you are making. Love can come from anyone, and, if we happen to find it, we should not refuse to let it come just because the person does not match our ideal. Over the years, you learn that what is inside is what matters most. You may have a strong preference for this or that physical trait, but who the person is, and what he or she brings to the relationship, is the only important thing. In the end, we will all end up with wrinkles and ugly bodies. Who we are will stay with us till the day we die.
I have come to learn that American women think we, Latin men, are extremely macho cheaters. We do share this trait of personality. Seen from our side, American women do seem promiscuous. Those stereotypes work against you. I think you should try to find one person who will be above that stereotype, just as you are yourself.
People tend to marry their own kind because marriages take a lot of effort and it's easier to do that if you marry someone who thinks like you and sees life the way you do. It's easier to marry someone who won't argue with you about the way you educate your children, because she was educated that way, too. Personally, I find it's better to bring someone different into the question, and agree on what is best. It takes a lot of effort, but I love the challenge. You do as well; dare to be yourself.
I have met many Latin men who marry Latino women for the simple reason that they think they will be able to control them better than they would control an American. Or, they feel that these women are less likely to cheat on them. I guess my peers should know better :-). I have also heard comments from American women about how they prefer marrying American men, as they won't try to keep them in submission. Again, I think that love is about compromising, and you should put yourself above this crap. This is not about who controls who, but about who is your accomplice in life.
Men will notice you, don't worry. The one man who will be smart enough to go beyond the color of your skin or the way you act will be the one you're waiting for. Let this man be of any race or color or culture. If he happens to be a Latino, you'll have made it.
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