A
male
age
41-50,
*andagold
writes:HiI'll keep it short. My ex girlfriend of 11 months broke up with me 3 months ago. She was suffering with depression and she couldn't handle a relationship with me anymore. She told me she still cares deeply for me but she feels too selfish to worry about anyone else.Anyway, recently she has been back in touch through email, and the a few days ago she popped into the shop I work at to say hello. She has now invited me to a sporting event with her. She has been in a happy mood of late and going out with friends which she never did when depressed.I'm sure she misses me and wants to see me, but is it because she just wishes to be friends, or because she feels that maybe she made a mistake? Of course I realise nobody can answer this, but what I would like to know is what action can I take?Basically I still love her and nothing would make me happier to be together again. Of course we would need to resolve why she felt the need to break up in the first place.Should I just continue to let her contact me, and not pursue her at all? I fear if I ask her what exactly she wants, it may push her away!Any advice is appreciated.Thanks You
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male
reader, pandagold +, writes (18 July 2008):
pandagold is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi
Thanks for your comments. She knows that I'm single as have close friends in common.
I want to tell her I still love her but I know that I shouldn't.
I'll just try and be a good friend, and if she makes a reference to missing me etc, then I'll make it clear I would take her back.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (18 July 2008):
She had depression. This makes you very selfish and can destroy the people around you.
She split up with you and I think she did the right thing.
Now she seems to be over it so it might be that she is ready for a relationship again. It would be a bit arrogant for her to come in and assume you will come straight back. She is probably taking it slowly because you may be over her or have a new girlfriend.
Go out with her and see what happens. I think if she is over her illness and finds out you are still single and interested, she might tell you she feels the same.
Don't ask her outright if she wants you back as a friend, but do the usual new relationship stuff. Flirt, have fun, hold her hand. If she just wants you as a friend she will soon let you know.
Good Luck!! xx
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