A
female
age
51-59,
*hinachik
writes:I don't know if anyone can reall help me, as I know that I have no choice but to hang in and see, but any feedback would be appreciated...I met a lovely guy online last April and started dating him in May. He is in the RAF and lives on base an hour away so its not possible to see him regularly due to the dstance and with his work. When we are together we really enjoy the time, but it always seems to go so fast and I get sad when its time to part as I don't know when the next time I see him will be. Also as time is short, it gets really intense and I'm findng it hard to just relax and be with him. In between time we text, but its not really satisfying as we just keep it light- if I ask him any akward questions, he doesn't answer and when I ask him when I see him he dosen't really answer then either and brushes it off and this creates doubt in my mind.I guess I am unsure of this relationship, and sometimes have a lot of negative feelings that are hard to ignore and I am in angst, but when he gets back in touch I feel wonderful and everything is ok again. I told him I was falling for him and he seemed ok with it, but then I don't hear from him for a few days and its confusing. I doubt him sometimes and can accept that he dosen't love me the way I feel about him, but don't know if this is because its so soon or whether he dosen't want to be hurt, or whether he just dosen't/can't love me? Is there any way I can find out for sure, and whether its worth hanging in there? If he just reveal how he felt about me- I would know what to do and think, but I don't really know what to do. I just want to be happy and make him happy but its just so complicated trying to get to know him. He's not removed his profile online, though he is not active on it and removed his picture, but its unsettling.I don't want to find anyone else, and move on, but understand I will have to if I'm not going to get any answers or it just stays as it is as its not enough for me. It kills me, because we are on the same wavelength and have a similar outlook on things- I really would love to fall in love and grow old with him if it wasn't for all the doubts.
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (31 August 2010):
 How long before his service is up? Is he planning on making that his career? There is no real way of knowing other than discussing the topic with him. My guess is that he really likes you but doesn't want to commit to anything because of the complexity of military life.
Being with a military guy is too much for a lot of women to handle. The waiting and not knowing what will happen gets to people even when they have the best intentions. My guess is that he's seen many failed relationships, either his own or friend's, and he is hesitant to get too attached.
Open communication is very important to a relationship. Good luck opening the lines of communication!
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