A
female
age
26-29,
*attii
writes:Im a 15 year old teen mum. I have a little boy who is 7 months old and the father stuck around so thats all good; but something that really bothers me is how everyone judges us not adults but people at school, like they are always telling me how i should look after my baby although no-one esle is in my situation.We havent got a pram yet so if we take max (my son) out one of us carrys him but everyone says that thats bad for him and he shouldnt get so much bodily contact; people also say mine and my boyfriends relationship is weird because we are really close and he oftens stays the night at mine and we share my single bed. I want to know if this is normal behaviour for someone in my situation and also how to deal with unwanted judgements? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (20 July 2011):
 All you can do it not to let them bother you.
The fact is that as humans we all judge, and in this situation this is more of a reason for it. You have had sex illegally and your lack of reliable contraception has left you pregnant and with a child.
The pram thing is ridiculous, but carrying your baby everywhere will make your life harder. He will get heavier and heavier and cant always go everywhere with your boyfriend. You need to sort yourself out and get a decent travel system which will last for the next few years until he can walk on his own.
People are always going to want to pass judgment on you and how you parent. This never changes, no matter how old you are as a parent. The best thing you can do is to give people no reason for to judge you. Get a pram, make better sleeping arrangements, and stop telling people at school what goes on at home!
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 July 2011):
 I would not take it so personally.
People will comment about unusual things. You are perfectly free to make unusual choices, and people are perfectly free to find them inappropriate,inadequate or bizarre. If you want general approval, you conform ; if you want to do your thing, you do your thing and don't demand that everybody says " oh great, fantastic choice ".
Yes, it's unusual that in 7 months two parents haven't found the way to get a pram ( you can get a cheap second hand one, btw, or place an ad / ask around in your neighborhood or church for people who give theirs away for FREE. I gave all my kid's stuff away for free ) It is also unusual that two parents don't even have a double bed to share . The regular thing would be that first you put together a place to live, and a regular bed to sleep in, and the stuff a baby may need ( pram, crib, etc.etc ) THEN you make a baby. You chose to do it the other way around, as it is surely your right ( well, no,actually it wasn't, since you were under the age of consent when you got pregnant, but let's not be finicky ) so no surprise that you may get a couple of puzzled looks.
...............................
|
