A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my partner for 3 years now and hes a great guy, hes got aspergers which is a form of autism, People with Asperger syndrome can find it harder to read the signals that most of us take for granted. This means they find it more difficult to communicate and interact with others which can lead to high levels of anxiety and confusion.for the 1st year we were together everything was great. But when he gets mad he hurts himself(stabing his hand with a knife,punching walls) and i worry, we have been living together for a year, and he has not got a job(dues to his aspergers) he works from home but hardly seems to make any money. due to his problems, when he was growing up he was spoilt anything he wanted he got. We are not in money difficultys, with him making little money and me holding down a 9-5 job. he asks me for money and when i say i have none to spare he goes off on one. I know its not his fault but he does this all the time, i love him to death but just cause its not his fault should i exuse him.Sometimes hes really hard to love, but other times hes like perfect and i love him to its.Im finding it really hard at the moment!any advice would be great!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008): thanks alot for the answer, i ended up leaving him! it got alot worse before i left. him and his farther wouldnt listen to the therapy, saying that he didnt want to be in the system as having asphergers, for it to affect his future ect, what a load of crap!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008): thanks alot for the answer, i ended up leaving him! it got alot worse before i left. him and his farther wouldnt listen to the therapy, saying that he didnt want to be in the system as having asphergers, for it to affect his future ect, what a load of crap!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008): thx , i see what happens
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (8 June 2008):
 My brother has autism too and I can relate to what you are saying.
I know of a lot of people with autism who were spoilt when growing up due to their reaction when they didn't get what they want - ie. kicking things, yelling etc. Not all autistic people do this of course but with those that do -the problem with that is that when they do get angry because of little things, it is not down to autism. The yelling and getting violent is not part of autism - it is a contrast of the frustration in the fact that a routine and simple act cannot go ahead and that they have from a young age learnt that to get their own way, they must get angry.
My brother went to a counsellor who offered him help in finding a job. He has worked as a librarian and he is now on a typing course. If he is cutting himself, you definitly need to get him some counselling for him, and for your relationship. He needs to understand that the way he acts towards you pushes you away and there is only so much that a person can take.
My brother went to counselling on a similar basis - that he felt that he was a disappointment and that he felt that he couldn't do anything right - he was given some tablets to calm him down and he had counselling and I can't tell you how much it helped him.
So, my suggestion is - sit him down, tell him that you are finding it difficult to cope, that you love him a lot but you think that having some counselling will help him get a job, and get a better life overall for him and you.
It's unfortunate that not many people understand Autism, but I think that if you call the helpline on this page http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=819
that they will give you further advice from people who understand it more than most.
I hope this helps and that things work out for the best.
Take care xx
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