A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been talking to this guy on and off for 6 months now. Recently, he called me from another number, and when I asked who it was, he told me to guess. Not realizing it was him, I called him by someone elses name and now he won't drop it. He shows me no commitment and only calls when I haven't contacted him in a week.It has taken me the longest time to convince him I wasn't talking to other guys and I felt as if I was finally getting there...then this had to happen. We finally debated this issue and I could not come up with a valid enough point from the frustration. I told him I want to prove to him that I'm only with him, but I don't know how. I was told that I should know if I'm so confident.My question is how can I convince him that I'm telling the truth, and how can I prove that I am devoted? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (29 July 2009):
 Eff this fool. He has issues and frankly any guy who plays that stupid game is not boyfriend material. He is too busy deflecting his trust issues on you to be taken seriously.
Don't play the games. Don't go running after him, because that gives him the attention he needs and shows him that the games work. Don't get defensive, because he gets off on that. His perception is HIS PROBLEM and you can't fix it. When he plays these dumb ass games, ignore him until he can communicate like an adult, then you tell him: "when you call me and get angry when I don't recognize your voice, I feel frustrated and upset (or however you do feel). I don't like it when we play games with each other, instead I enjoy when we have straightforward communication. I want this to end, so in the future I will not talk to you when you play on the phone."
If he doesn't straighten up after that quit wasting your time on this immature knucklehead.
Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not sure if this is a test or what. During the episode, he had hung up before I had a chance to explain or defend myself. I called this number back, but no answer. So I left a very long and angry text message he couldn't reply to. I guess my anger made me look guilty even further.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBoth of you are right. I'm sitting here, thinking how I shouldn't have to prove myself to anyone I am not with. Our relationship is more of a friend basis. We're not together by any means, and that is on his end (according to him, it's because of me). I was getting very defensive because I don't like when someone I care about has the wrong perception. However, he does enjoy the mind games and I think that is his way of playing them.
...............................
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (27 July 2009):
 I agree with the first poster. He needs to trust you, and if he can't do that, and would rather argue with you and treat you this way, let him go. Let the jerk be right.
...............................
A
female
reader, Original shiraz!  +, writes (27 July 2009):
Firstly you shouldnt have to prove yourself in any way, the trust should be there from the start. Hes got the issues here, not you. Trust issues can damage a relationship before its started, as seen here. Id say to him look i made a mistake but i cant keep putting everything into have to prove myself to you, ive told you the truth and you wont believe me i cant do much more, what do you want to do? This way hell be forced to stop his game playing and make a descion, maybe it will shock him into realising your serious about this, remind him that you do love him and you want this to be differernt but in order to move forward this has to stop.
If this doesnt work then id stop playing nice and start standing up for myself, it can really damage a person if they are being put down constantly especially if its by the one whos supposed to love and trust them. Let him know what it does to you.
Best of luck
...............................
|
