A
female
age
36-40,
*sabella1987
writes:I really need help.I don't know what going on with me. I am extreamly jealous of my husband.Even he go to work I thinking of he make out with someone.We been married for 2years.We always fight. every week.We both tired of it.I try to change, but I still can't. I am so controlling. Now he told me if I still like jealous,make story and fight with him he don't want to stay with me anymore.I watch alot of cheater and some movie that man cheat on his wife and stuff. plus my dad cheated on my mom.I see with my own eyes so i don't really trust man. But I love my husband.I don't want he leave me. I always thinking of I am ugly. Truly I am plain.I don't know how to put make up on and dress nice.But I ask my husband he said he like tha way I am and I look plain sexy. He just joking.Please help me what I ganna do. How can I change.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 September 2009):
Sit your husband down and tell him that because of what your father did, you're insecure and worried about your own relationship going the same way. Tell him about your past, so he knows why you are like you are. Hopefully, he'll be understanding and he'll listen. Also, the fact that he has opened up to you proves he loves you. He's gneuinly worried. Even try counselling for yourself to get everything off your chest.
A
male
reader, OzBloke  +, writes (24 September 2009):
I don't know if this could help or not but I ideas.Could you explain to him how you feel and that you'd like to be more open if you're not already?What I mean is, does he let you check his phone, for contacts and texts? Does he let you check his email?I have always allowed my wife to do so and though she is jealous (which I am comfortable with), I give her no reason to be concerned.My wife always opened my mail, or email whenever she wanted too. I don't know when or if she did, but she had my permission. I have never needed "privacy" within a relationship because I have nothing to hide.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (24 September 2009):
 What you failed to mention that whether or not you have brought up the possibility of Marriage Counseling.Realtionships are built on trust and if you really love him and want this to work, then you need to give it a try. MC is very affordable and look online into some options in your area. Plus you may want to consider some individual private therapy for any self esteem issues you may feel you have.And one more thing...while television shows like "Cheaters" are very good entertainment, realize that nowhere in the intros to the cases does anyone ever mention Marriage Counseling.Do any of those people say things like.."we went to counseling"?...NO They fly blind into it! Plus Joey Greco and his staff tailor the show and production buildup to only suggest MC or therapy AFTER the fact.You may be able to rediscover your mutual love for each other iof you take the step of counseling BEFOREHAND as a preventative measure. Marriages are a work in progress and you have to work on it...I suggest you seek counseling
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A
female
reader, Salmacis  +, writes (24 September 2009):
 Well, considering that your husband fell for you without making yourself look like Angelina Jolie, your husband genuinely loves you for who you are, no matter how plain you think you dress. You simply have to trust him dear. Trust is key to a healthy relationship. I know that you experienced something in your life that has affected your trust in men, but you have to remember not all men are cheaters, not all of them are like your father. What about trying to channel that jealousy into something harmless instead of destructive. When you feel that jealousy starts to creep up, preoccupy yourself with a hobby. Think possivetly, too! It will help build your self-esteem.
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