A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi this seems like a really weird question but I need to know what to do. I'm a 15 year old girl and I really like a boyband (not going to say who but it is NOT one direction). The thing is its sorta taking over my life. I listen to their music all the time, I have got a lot merchandise from their collection and now I have started having dreams about them. My friends think I'm sad for liking them this much. It makes me upset knowing I'll never meet them or anything. I was supposed to go to their concert fir my birthday but the tickets were all sold out and I'm still upset about it. What I'm asking is, is it normal for me to like them this much? How can I not be so obsessive? Thank you all Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Questing for Love +, writes (23 April 2014):
 Honestly that's pretty normal for your age. I was the same way with my first band obsession at age 14. I was crazy obsessed and drew the singer every chance I could. One night I even had an amazing dream about him all because I was staring at some pictures of him before bed. If that doesn't scream obsessed I don't know what does. Granted I don't obsess as heavily but I still obsess over music/singers. It's all I talk about and it's all I buy. Band t-shirts, CD's, band bracelets, posters, any kind of merch I can because I love sharing with the world what music I love. And being a singer has always been a side fantasy of mine, which is why I idolize singers so much. And all this is coming from someone who's 19. Don't worry about it. Enjoy it while you can because it can be the happiest years of your life. I wouldn't change a thing about my obsession because it's made me the happiest I've ever been. Concerts are my drug and I'll be so sad when I reach the age of not being able to attend them due to jobs or a family. But that just means my interests will be focused elsewhere.Do what makes you happy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2014): I know I was an obsessed teenager! N so was my sister... There was this one hit wonder n At 16 17, I was all set to go across the Sahara desert looking for him... Seriously I used to cry and panic that I was never gunna meet him... At the time it seems like your life's goal, the bane of your existence, but it will pass... Unfortunately it may move on to something else I.e. A fictional character... That was pretty much my adolescence! :/ I think it's very common to go through this fixation of feelings at your age... I mean you pass all kindof stages during this time, growing up. My sis was also obsessed with a band- very much like you I.e. Sit indoors with the curtains closed watch their tour DVD all day... Lol! Maybe some are more extreme than others... What I would say is that if at 18/ 19 you're still having feelings of such an obsessive nature, get some therapy, because it may be an underlying sign of a mental disorder such as anxiety/ OCD... Sounds extreme but when you're almost an adult it isn't so healthy... At this age I think it's normal, really... I wouldn't worry, and you're friends can do one, cos it'll most likely happen to them too ;) Take care x :)
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 April 2014):
 I think that this is something lots of teenagers go through, a crush that develops into what seems to be an unhealthy obsession.
Enjoy the music. If you start feeling upset about never meeting them then ask yourself what it is you hope will come from that meeting. I have met a couple of famous musicians and they are just people doing a job. The romanticizing their lives generally is what sells fan magazines. Try to develop a healthy skepticism about who it is who is actually benefiting from your heard earned cash (or your parents, if you are using allowance money). Is the return worth your investment?
I would set aside a certain amount of money that you can easily afford and doesn't keep you from getting a fun pair of shoes or even better donating to a worthwhile cause.
How are you listening to their music? On headphones? Make sure the volume is set at safe listening levels, not going to lie, there is a whole epidemic of hearing loss due to too high volumes on earphones. If it's in room then just remember your parents deserve to listen to their favorite music too.
Maybe this band's marketing team is really excellent at packaging them in a way that makes them seem like really cool guys? Start to pay attention to that. Who is managing them? Google the management company. Educate yourself.
Who knows, perhaps this passion/interest/obsession of yours will lead to a really cool career in being an agent or a manager. It could be the thing that gets you focused on potentially really interesting career choices.
P.S. Having dreams about them sounds fairly common too. I wouldn't be worried about that.
P.S.S. I'm too embarrassed to tell you who I had a massive crush on when I was 15. I painted pictures of him and did some really cool artwork. I also learned every single detail I could based on the fanmags. Now I realize I was just caught up in my own fantasy and in some ways, I channeled it into creative stuff and in others, I wasted some time learning meaningly factoids about a carefully packaged product.
Have fun with it, set yourself some internal deadlines on how much time you actually spend on it and then ask someone to help you if you can't manage to do that. Mom isn't a bad idea. She probably had her own embarrassing teen crush too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2014): You are a teenager that's what we do you will eventually grow out of it. Your friends say your sad ? You can probably guarantee that they are just as obsessed as you are, maybe not with the same band but with something else.If its truly concerning you then maybe take up a sport or get another hobby to take your mind off it. Honestly honey there is nothing wrong with being passionate about a band its fine. You are 13-15 that's prime obsessing age I know I'm just out of that stage of my life. xx WJ
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