A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I wrote on here a little while ago but to re-cap the situation there is a girl that I've had a HUGE crush on for a really long time (about 8 years now) and recently she started to be friendly to me so like a fool I asked her to go to a dance with me, she said she was busy so later I asked her on a date, again she was busy. I asked her a third time and she said she wasn't interested. Now she won't talk to me anymore.I tend to be rather impatient with her because I love her so much that I just can't stand being without her. Well I've found out that was a bad quality and people on here told me that I should give her some space which I have done.Now I feel like a different person and will be a little more patient with her because she is worth it. I'm just wondering how and when I should re-introduce myself to her (summer vacation comes in two weeks and I never see her then so I want to do this before that).I don't want to ask her out again and I certaintly don't want to forget about her. I just want to be a close friend. How can I be her friend again?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008): I'll try and talk to her today.
A
female
reader, answer_machine  +, writes (10 June 2008):
 Dear.. Male pal
here's my answer:
I'm actually at the SAME situation of your girl.
My best friend told me he was in love with me.. and.. My reaction was very violent ( I mean.. I didn´t hit him ) but I stopped talking to him, I can't even trust him anymore.
It's not that I hate him.. it's just that I was very afraid, because I had never ever thought that my best friend would .. you know.
But one day... he went to me.. and he said All that you ARE thinking RIGHT NOW. and.. well obviously I didn't felt in love with him, but I learned to respect him and his feelings.
You Have to talk with her, tell her that.. well... if you can't have her as a lover.. you may have her as a friend :)
but don't be fool, if she accepts to be your friend, it doesn't mean that she wants to be with you. She reacts like that because obviosly she doesn't want you to make yourself illusions of a relationship.. i mean, you know.. boyfriend -girlfriend, so she tends to distance.
If I were you... I would forget her, imagine when she get's a boyfriend.. you will kill yourself, it's very painfull. But you Know... One never choose of who to fall in love.
well.. that's my advice... I hope It's usefull =)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008): It wouldn't hurt to just tell her, "Hey I'm sorry about before and I just want to be friends again." It's also always easier to hang out with groups of people, so if you have mutual friends, plan something with the whole group. That way, you can interact with her and develop your friendship again without her worrying that you want it to be a date. In high school I had a couple of friends who turned out to be interested in me, and it did make things awkward. I would have appreciated it if they had made the attempt to just be friends and told me straight up that that's all they wanted.
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