A
female
age
30-35,
*rissyPoo06
writes:My name is Kristen and I havn't had a boyfriend in so long ever since freshman year of highschool (I'm twenty years old and a junior in college). Ever since then,my self-esteem has gone even lower than before. I'm think I'm too short (I'm 4'5"),I'm fat (I'm about 89 or 90-something pounds), flat-chested,have a nose that's too big and wide, and I'm just extremely ugly! I also believe that I have bad skin. I can't even get guys to look at me! My mother and other people tell me that I'm over-exaggerating, that I'm cute and my skin looks fine and I am very petite. If what other people are saying is true then why don't I have a boyfriend! What's wrong with me. My biggest fear is that I will never get a boyfriend and I'll never get married. i'll just stay alone for the rest of my life. :( Somebody help please! How can I attract guys? What's wrong with me? Am I that repulsive?
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female
reader, KrissyPoo06 +, writes (12 December 2008):
KrissyPoo06 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to everyone who helped me! :) I will definately take the advice given to me. I feel alot better knowing other people understand me and will try to help. Thanks alot!
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (12 December 2008):
 "Make sure you have 8 hours sleep a day as this will keep you more mind more alert, it's also good for your skin, hair, eyes etc and be more aware of your diet." - I meant 8 HOURS SLEEP A NIGHT... as this will keep your mind more alert.
I think I'm needing more sleep myself!!! lmao
~Eve~
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (12 December 2008):
You are so full of resentments and negativity and THAT is what is turning guys away from you. Like David rightly said, "it will form a guy's visual towards you". Guys can tell, just by your body language whether or not you are happy with yourself. They can see that negativity and neediness as they watch you from afar and that can be a real turn off.
You need to assert yourself more, BELIEVE in yourself! Pepper sent you some great links, have a look at them, they will help. Be happy with WHO you are and let that radiate out of you! Everyone has flaws they have to work on. Set aside time one night a week to pamper yourself, take extra care of your skin, run a hot bubble bath and light some candles, put a hot wax treatment on your hair and keep it on while you're in the bath. Varnish your toenails and fingernails, moisturise your whole body with a good moisturiser with a hint of tan. Make sure you have 8 hours sleep a day as this will keep you more mind more alert, it's also good for your skin, hair, eyes etc and be more aware of your diet.
All these little things will help you to love the person you are on the outside, together with keeping positive and reading how to get your confidence and self esteem up will help you to be more content and happy with the person you are on the inside.
"You must love YOURSELF before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy."
~Eve~
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (12 December 2008):
 Hi hunny
You are not over weight your weight for your height is normal sweetheart..I'm sending you a body mass index chart for you to do yourself ok love....
http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/
I had a friend who thought she was to fat, She thought this was wrong and that was wrong and her self esteem was terrible hunny she had no faith in herself at all, The truth she was very pretty and could not see her lovely points for constantly pointing at what she though were faults, To me I couldn't see anything wrong.
I did her hair and make-up and we went and did some shopping together this made her feel a lot better ..You really need to get that self esteem UP!
http://www.womensselfesteem.com/page/page.cfm/tips
If you keep on looking at yourself in a negative way you will think all these awful things. Its all about your body image, And how it appears to you love, At this moment you are feeling low self image.
I suggest you join a gym this will make you feel better within and read the self esteem link I have sent, You put in your post you believe your skin is bad this tells me it is not that bad at all only you think it is, Im sending you a link to help you with this as well...
http://beauty.about.com/ But if you feel and think these things then you will convince yourself as you have done that you are ugly which sweetheart is not the case at all..There are all sorts of things you can do to help yourself and get that self esteem back BUT MOST OF ALL YOU NEED TO HAVE BELIEF IN YOU, FAITH IN YOU AND NO YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! If you need a chat love I'm here TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, 48years  +, writes (12 December 2008):
 You gotta act like you're a prize. Men like to hunt.
Has anyone ever tried too hard to go out with you? Didn't the desperation just ooze outta them? How did that make you feel?
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A
female
reader, dinosaurexx +, writes (12 December 2008):
 wow! you arent even close to fat! im only 14 and im 5'8" but i weight twice your amount! i weigh around 155!
so its definately not your weight.
maybe these guys are just shy to ask you out?
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A
female
reader, babyminow +, writes (12 December 2008):
 okay girl you are super skinny. im 15 and 115. and im not fat. and quit worrying about getting a guy and just be yourself. once they see who you are they wont want to keep there hands off you. ;) good luck
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A
female
reader, always.curious.ray. +, writes (12 December 2008):
 well im with you on the self-esteem i dont have any...
im only about 5'1" and i weigh alot more than i should for my age...im only 15 and not all guys or actaully none do, they just want down my pants & thats it...but when i feel hard for this one guy it turns out thats all he wanted me for..okay to start with if u dont wear make-up start...but not too much just to start with use massacra and eyes shadow...brown eyes-gray & light blue eye shadow...green eyes-tanish and brown eye shadow...blue-light purple and pink eye shadow...and blackest black massacra...and your skin if you have dry skin try coca-butter or vitamin e...and your hair depending on the length...long up in a preppy pony tail...medium-if its layered curl each end up...short-[shoulder lengeth]-take some gel or moose and rub it between your hands and just scrnuch you hair and pin just your bangs back and give them a lil poof...try that first and see where that gets you...and if you need more tips you can hit me up on myspace-www.myspace.com/notxreadyxtoxmovexonx
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A
female
reader, candyluvsu01 +, writes (12 December 2008):
 Guys like girls who are okay with the way they look.and your so not fat....most guys like shorter girls and not all guys like perfect...i may be a girl but i know 4 a fact i cant stand perfect....i like flaws it gives me something to love even though some people may think its unattractive.you just havent found the right guy....maybe you should try going about it another way and looking at yourself as a gorgeous young lady not a ugly girl.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2008): Ok, first NEGATIVETY is a huge HUGE turn off. You should always try to look at everything with a positive attitude! 4' 5" ~90lbs.. definitely not fat sister! You need to accept and understand yourself as a person before you can expect anyone else to. Change the way you think.. in general. Read books.. look online.. just don't ever put yourself down. You could be the most beautiful model looking person on the outside.. add negativity to that, and you would be the ugliest! I hope this helps.. good luck to you.. BEAUTIFUL
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A
male
reader, unicornsteak  +, writes (12 December 2008):
When I first read I thought not a big deal, but the more I thought about it I changed my mind. You are carrying some extra weight on your package, you would probably benefit both physically and emotionally (increased confidence) by taking up an active life style. Maybe intramural sports or a team or something, especially where you get to meet other people.Your skin will clear up with time, but if you ask your doctor about birth control it might actually help quite a bit, it would also help you out with your perception of being "flat chested"Ultimately I think you need to stop feeling the way you do about yourself. You're obviously intelligent, which is something that most people aren't so you have that going for you. Learn to love the skin that you're in and realize that it doesn't really matter. There is more to life than growing up and making babies. You will find someone who is right for you and will treat you well in time.
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