A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i recently split from the bf. it was my choice, i didnt feel like i had any other. he was flirting with another girl and got caught out. i just felt it was disrespectful to me. he didnt deny anything was going on, and argued back with me. dont get me wrong im glad i made the split and got rid of him, but im just feeling like there is this big empty hole now in my life. i do miss him, despite me knowing he wasnt any good for me, and a time waster. I just feel hurt more than anything, because he made me believe i was the one. the only one. hed gone from the sweetest, kindest person, to a nightmare in a matter of a week. (when this girl appeared on the scene). it wasnt long before id clocked on to why he was acting so badly and confronted him about it all. now were not talking at all, i deleted his number, and refused to see him. i did send a message online asking him to collect his stuff, but he hasnt replied.(he must of got it he checks daily) i thought he might of, since i really dont want it in my house.im now feeling like, to gain closure, i want to tell him just how much hes hurt me. i feel like theres so much that was left unsaid. like how i felt, or how he felt. no matter what the outcome, i dont think id go back, but i really do need closure. its odd too because i found out he hasnt been talking to the other girl since we split. i found that odd. can anyone just fill me in on the best course of action now to be able to move on and gain closure. thanks aunts and uncles x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): I have never tried this, but I read it in a magazine, you could give it a try.
Each day allow yourself a specific amount of time (15 minutes or an hour, it's up to you) to wallow, cry, write down your feelings. Outside of this time, you put off thinking about him. If he crosses your mind during the day, say to yourself ... I will consider that at my designated time, make a mental note and move on.
With practice, it will come easier and then you will tire of the time you spend and start naturally cutting down on the time until eventually, you'll find yourself not thinking about him at all.
Good luck! Hopefully I'll never have to try this method, but it sounds like a good plan.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): The best thing you can do right now is meet up with him, and take it all out, all the pains he made you feel, and see how you would feel after that.
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