A
female
age
51-59,
*eatherglass
writes:dear cupid,i cannot find work and haven't been able to in four months. my boyfriend makes 180,000.00/yr., is selling his house from his past marriage, but because his ex-wife is putting such a financial strain on him and he spent so much money dating his last girlfriend who wouldn't work no matter what, he is going to throw me out in 30 days if i don't find work. he said that he loves me but that he cannot live a certain way that is less than the standards he is accustomed to and that he is determined to get his savings back the way it wass. he even told me that he wished that he had the money he had last year right when he met his last girlfriend because he felt our relationship is a much better investment than that one was. how should i feel about this? I am hurt and he knows the efforts i have made to find employment, but he is not happy when we cannot afford to live the "high life", in other words, going to five star restaraunts every night, etc... i feel that he cannot really love me. he sais that he feels sorry for me because he understands that a charge that i have from many years ago has ruined my career and hindered my work ability, but he cannot change the situation and let me drag him to the poor house. he even admitted that when we got together, that i was okay, that he had me leave a situation that i was financially independant in (now i cannot get back where i was), and that he sent many mixed signals in the beginning (like his financial situation was mine and mine was his), instead now my situation cannot be a part of his anynore. What should i do and how should i feel?
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ex-wife, his ex, money Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2010): I agree with all the other posters. He has been so badly stung financially and for that he blames his own decision making that he won't do anything other than look after himself now. Yes, get out, move on and chin up. He will have a succession of girlfriends but unless they earn as much as him probably won't get married again.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2010): Get away from him while you still have self-respect to question what he is doing! I agree with the others that if he says he spent TOO much money on the others - he will never be satisfied with what you do because I will bet he will make you pay what he considers their debts to him.
He is 2 materialistic - that kind of man can never really love anyone other than himself.
Wolves can tear you apart again and again - don't let him throw you there - get out - chin up - and glow on your own.
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, tsubu01 +, writes (10 June 2010):
Dont be hurt, stand up and keep your chin high. Move on and leave him.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (10 June 2010):
 You should be hurt because he doesn't love you. You also shouldn't continue to be in that relationship. He clearly values material things over you. Given the fact that he has ex-girlfriends and ex-wives, it's a good bet he's going to spend that $180,000 a year by himself for the rest of his life.
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