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anonymous
writes: I'm really shy and I don't want to be, in order to get a boyfriend. Could you help me get confidence or suggest things I could do for confidence? I'd do anything.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, RIZZY RIZZ, writes (2 March 2005): Most people think that if they are shy no one notices them, Trust me we see you. 1 RULE Be yourself. a boy that really wants to be with you will like you just the way you are. he will take his time with you to try to get to no you and help you out of that shyness.Rule # 2 BE Smart, dont let them take avantage of you because your shy.Rule # 3 Dont be a follower thats the worst thing you can become (Please be youself). Look in the marror what do you see? tell yourself that their is nothing wrong with you. If your in school try joining clubs, sports, committiees be apart of something let people get the impression that hey she might be shy but she pretty nice. In a way its not that bad to be alittle shy some boys like it.to them we seem mysterious. i say we because i was just like you. i was shy to do any and everything. i changed because it sucked being to shy to do anything so i started asking people where a station was, how do i get their, i asked for their opinion,i asked for the time, i like your hair style, i even asked someone i didnt no if they can give me an advice. yes it was scary but you will get over it. say to yourself ,by asking someone a question what can they do to me? NOTHING .either they answer or they dont. Say hi to people you dont no even in school start little conversations see what you have in common with some one you like.when you get better at doing this try just for the fun of it to go up to a boy you like and say,, Hi i have a little crush on you i was just to shy to tell you. Then walk away. from that point on just keep saying hi with little talks. This is like a curage check.I hope i helped. I would really like to know how it turned out. (SMILLES)
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2005): The prevous person advised to pretend to be confident and outgoing. I second that notion. Speaking from personal experience. Talk to people that you don't normally talk to. The cashier. Remark on how pretty the blouse is she is wearing and that it brings out the colors in her eyes. If you see someone drop something walk over and let them know. Force yourself to look people in the eye and smile. Ask questions to get people to talk like where did you find that scarf that is really sharp. Little things like that will give the appearance of being outgoing and at the same time make people feel great at the same time. There are more people that are shy out there than you know.
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A reader, Ogs, writes (16 February 2005): Take a look at the people around you - many may be giving the illiusion of confidence but many are just as shy inside as you are.It may help to ask your friends what your good qualities are - listen and beleive in these as a lot of shyness comes from low self-esteem.Set yourself small goals that being shy makes it difficult for you to do e.g. ask a stranger for the time. Realising that you can do these things without anything dreadful happening will help you gain confidence.You may always feel shy inside but making yourself do things and pretending to be confident will help you to get a boyfriend and many other things in life.
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