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His staring at other women is driving me crazy!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 December 2015) 7 Answers - (Newest, 23 December 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi everyone hope someone can help I've been with my boyfriend for 3 year we have a 1 year old baby together the problem is I know all men look at women but my boyfriend pushes it to the limit a woman can't walk past him without him drooling over her it was my birthday we were on the bus and a woman with long hair got on he looked at her 3 or 4 times and was staring at her legs even though she had jeans on he does it all the time it's driving me crazy what do I do thank you

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2015):

Have you told him how you feel? If you do tell him and he still does it, then tell him again right at the time he ogles. If he carries on despite your requests then I think you have your answer. He doesn't care what you think and his mind is well and truly elsewhere. We can make excuses for men "they can't help it they're just being men" but really it is completely down to respecting the person you are with and growing up about that. End of. If he doesn't respect you then you have to question at what point that is going to seriously affect your self esteem. How long do you want to be with an immature man? A lot of women are with men who simply know better than to act like that. Men with manners do exist!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2015):

Even if he doesn't mean anything, this is a typical macho BS behvior.

I've been married for over 10 years (more than 15 together) and my husband has never done anything like that. Of course he notices beautiful women, as I do men, but he himself finds such a behavior disrespectful to both of us.

What you say doesn't sound like a new problem. My guess is that he was like that even before the baby. You knew what you were getting into. If you were thinking that having a child would somehow make him more serious, respectful and caring, you were wrong. Children do not solve problems. They are like a magnifying glass, once you have them the problems you tried to ignore become too obvious.

You could try talking to him and explain that teh way he acts is not only demeaning to you but him as well. If he doesn't get it, than you'll know where you stand.

Being normal doesn't mean to look away it means treating the ones you love with respect. Starting from yourself.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (21 December 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYou can continue to endure your angst... Or, you can continue to have a "boyfriend".....

I once dated a girl - similar to you - who told me that the only acceptable way to be near - in eyesight of - a woman was to look away.... I asked her, "you mean, even if it would be impolite to look away from, and ignore her?".... and she said, "Yes,"

I dumped her jealous a$$ shortly thereafter.. and never looked back....

good luck...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2015):

People say all men look, but my husband would never be so disrespectful to do something like that around me and I doubt he'd do it without me around either. You need to tell him what he is doing is upsetting. Or you highlight how bad it makes you feel by commenting on all men you see and see how he likes it. He's being a complete dick, don't let him think it's acceptable women aren't just something for him to stare at. It's bad to you and to the women he's doing it to because it reveals a bit if an attitude thay women are objects for his enjoyment or whatever. They are not x

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A female reader, NORA B Ireland +, writes (20 December 2015):

Its difficult to put up with a situation like this-however as you say all men look at women-but your boyfriend is pushing it to the limit with his insentive behavour when you are with him.Its time to have a serious indept chat with him about this and tell him exactly how you feel when he acts this this where other women are in view.I know you have a child and your with him for 3 years.Maybe it might be a good idea to ask him where this relationship is going.[that is if you want it to go to the next level]Or how serious he is about the relationship as it is now.These are questions you might consider asking him Best wishes NORA B.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2015):

If you search for "ogle" or "ogling" on this site, you will see how common a problem this is and there is loads of good advice from previous posters and aunts :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2015):

Oh how I feel your pain. It's so rude and so disrespectful. And they stare like they're about to cum in their pants right in front of you. I've had it happen to me on numerous occasions. Finally got sick of it and dumped the guy.

I would talk to him about it and let him know how hurtful his staring is. And see what he says. If he doesn't care and keeps doing it then maybe start thinking about if he's the right guy for you.

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