A
female
age
30-35,
*une1234
writes:Hi, I am currently having problems with my boyfriend. Basically, im not sure if im over reacting on an issue that has come up. Me and my partner come from different backgrounds. Im white british and he is british asian. I knew when we started the relationship there may be some problems reguarding families. My family is fine with the differences but his are not. His family hates my guts, because im white. However they are just two faced they never say anything to me directly.. just to everyone else.I have been with him for over two years now. Most of his family knows but he has said to me that some of them he has to say his single. Now im not happy with this. he claims its put of 'respect' to them. Which i am finding it very diffiult to understand. I feel as though he has no respect for me and cant take my feelings into consideration. Iv told him its over if it stays that way. I expect him to tell everyone who asks his in a relationship. Am I being over the top? Thanks Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): Hi i'm british asian myself so i know where your boyfriend is coming from. Basically if you go out with an asian you should try and accept the fact that sneaking around comes part of the deal. We have families that we have to respect unfortunately! Even if your boyfriend was with a asian girl he would more than likely lie to his family that he's not in a relationship as asian parent's usually only believe in marriages that they have arranged themselves which is sad i know!!!! You have to try and understand that for him it's hard for him to disrespect his family members because he probably never has, but that doesn't mean he's disrespecting you if he's sneaking around to be with you against his parent's wishes it's likely that he likes you alot! Watch bend it like beckham and east is east then you'l truly understand the pressures he faces! Aniway good luck hope your relationship lasts and that my answer helped you!!
A
female
reader, Whitestarr  +, writes (3 January 2008):
if he mentions "respect" again, tell him to start showing some "respect" to you... and try to understand his parents (somehow?)... try to talk to them to find out why they are unhappy with your relationship?
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (1 January 2008):
 Respecting them, by not telling them, but disrespecting you because it shows a form of devalue. I wouldn't care who liked who I was with. If I was in love with them, I'd want everyone to know, no matter what their reaction may be.
You say you're from different backgrounds. That's perfectly fine. It also allows two people to live and respecting the difference of where they come from. What is a background anyway? Painting have them. Do we buy paintings for the background or the painting itsself. Your background is not all of you, just a part. There's much more to a person than where they came from, or grew up. Truthfully, if two people love eachother, are able to be together, and build a strong relationship, does it really matter what their background is?
If my parents were prejudice, that's an area I would not appreciate in them. I'm also a very vocal person and I'd let them know that's one part of them I'm proud I didn't receive. I look at one background and one race which is the human race. Just because people come from different areas and different countries doesn't devealue them as a person. We are all humans living on one large world, and we really need to learn to treat everyone from that direction.
Take care.
...............................
A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (1 January 2008):
 I'm afraid you are on a losing battle here, as your bf is denying your relationship and in my opinion this guy has no respect for you period. You guys must have had some inkling that his family was not going to fully accept you from the start. If he continues pandering to his family's wishes, then I'm afraid its time to call closure on this relationship and find a man who is proud to call you his girlfriend. Good luck Dusky xx.
...............................
|
