A
female
age
30-35,
*mh2020
writes:How do I make my boyfriend's parents like me? My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 1/2 months now, I'm really happy in the relationship, but I think his family is going to tear us apart. His family are all nice people, they really are, but his parents are incredibly judgmental. My boyfriend knows they're judgmental and we've talked about this before. They're judgmental about me, him, some of their own family, his past girlfriends, his sister's boyfriend, everyone it seems except themselves. I was raised differently than how they were and how they raised their children, but they just can't accept that. I'm not comfortable at his house anymore and I don't feel welcome. However, I have to keep coming to his house or his parents will think I'm a coward and will dislike me even more. I'm to the point of feeling so unwelcome and hated that I'm considering breaking up with my boyfriend just so they'll be happy and I won't be forced to be around them. My boyfriend and I are really happy together, and I want a future with him, but I can't stand feeling like I'm being silently criticized with every single thing I do. Please help me figure out how to get his parents to like me for who I am. Or if I should just end this relationship. Thank you. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (28 June 2011):
 At your age, parents ARE going to judge you and him. They are going to wonder if you are a good influence on him, if you are good TO him, etc.
If things work out in the future, these are going to be your INLAWS and the Grandparents to your children.
Parents do not have to answer to you about their thoughts. They owe you nothing.
Think about what you feel they are judging you on. It would help if you specifically named a few things you feel they are picking on you about.
If you are in their home, behave like a good guest. Be polite, respectful and follow their rules. You can not MAKE anyone like you, but if you conduct yourself maturely and honor them as the parents of your boyfriend, you might find yourself INVITED over more often.
You are young and have many years ahead of you. You are going to meet people your entire life that judge you for the stupidest things. It may be a coworker, a neighbor, a relative of a friend, etc. You still have to figure out a way to get along and not worry so much about what they think of you.
Best Wishes.
|
