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His friend told me he is texting another girl....how can I bring this up without getting him angry?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 July 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 14 July 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have been with my bf for a year and a half. With him its been more bad than good because every week I find out something new he lied about, but won't ever admit to... Recently I've had a gut feeling he's been talking to a girl more than usual... He has always been secretive with his phone but now more than ever.

He told me from the beginning that he doesn't like his gf's looking through his phone and I understand, obviously, that's his privacy... however not wanting someone to look through your phone is one thing, but being so secretive with it is another... It just makes me feel like he has something to hide, and if I ask he gets mad and tells me I'm paranoid.

Lately, when I am over there he hides his phone and only checks it when I leave the room... Well yesterday, his best friend was over and I told him, I feel like he's hiding something because he's been super secretive.. his friend didn't want to tell me anything at first, but a few hours later I was asking questions and he told me that he's only telling me because he has an obligation to because no one else will... so here it is... he has been talking and texting another girl.. a girl he almost dated before he got with me contacted him again over facebook... he ended up not dating her because she has a kid, and moved about an hour away.

Well I guess she messaged him and they have been texting back and forth planning on hanging out. He told all this to his friend, who told me. She knows that he has a gf and she told him "what your girl doesn't know won't hurt her." As of right now he hasn't agreed to hang out with her but is planning on it and his friend told me that although he cares about me, he really likes her. (He told me this, while my bf was outside helping his mom with something.

What am I to do now?? I am absoutely miserable. He knows my biggest fear is that he will find someone else or that he will cheat on me, I always tell him how I feel like he's talking to another girl because he's so secretive with his phone... He always says his phone is his business. I was crying really hard last night when he walked in and all he said was "what now, why are you crying now, you're so weird" and walked away laughing. I know I can't tell him because I swore to his friend I wouldn't tell him I know through him. Someone please help me.. how do I go about this conversation without getting him angry... Although I don't want to break up that will probably end up happening, but I still want him to know that I am not stupid and that I am aware of all of his bullshit lies. Whenever I ask him if he's talking to another girl he says no I'm with you 24/7 you always think there is another girl.. Any suggestions, please?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (14 July 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntGet rid of him. He doesn't care about you they way that he should. He is secretive, he lies, he is prepared to meet up with another girl behind your back, and he walks away from you when he sees you crying. You are just going to keep hurting yourself here. His friends told you so that you can break up with him and stop letting him use you. That's all he is doing and then he is laughing behind your back and planing to meet other girls. His friend told you that he likes this other girl, therefore get out of this relationship. He is no good for you he doesn't care about this relationship. He will only keep hurting you.

You need to let go of this and move on, you are trying to hang on to something that is not there. You deserve so much better than this.

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