A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months now. We get along very well, the only major problem we've really had is his ex girlfriend.About once a month she pops up and will strike up conversation with him - it;s always her starting it, not him. He gives me open access to his email account etc, he's not private and never hides it. But because she has tried to break us up and manipulate him in the beginning of our relationship, because she wanted him back, I'm wary of her. It may or may not be innocent, whatever she texts him (I have been shown emails from her but I haven't seen any text messages). But it makes me feel on edge. However it's been about 2 months since she last text him, but now I've seen several text messages on his online billing. Yes I know that's sneaky and I don;t check up on him in any other way but this is the one thing that really gets to me. It's only something silly like 11 messgaes over 2-3 days.But what do I make of it, do I confront him? I thought I didn't have to worry about it anymore after we had a huge bust up a few months ago and he told her to leave him alone. He says he doesn't have feelings for her and I believe him, otherwise he would be with her or would be secretly meeting with her, which he's not that kind of guy anyway.
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female
reader, Fire_Tiger +, writes (20 November 2007):
 Personally I think you should confront the girl yourself seeing as how you and your boyfriend have already had an argument about it. If he did tell her to back off obviously the ex is not listening to him. The only way she's going to finally go away is if you scare her into it. Tell her to back off because he's your man, not her's. And if your boyfriend frowns upon this (which he shouldn't seeing as he agrees with you on this subject, right?) then tell him that, as she clearly wasn't listening to him, maybe she'll listen to you and, as you said before, you don't like the idea of her constantly interfering and causing these problems between you both.
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