A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months, and we live together. Things are mainly great, buit we do tend to have a bad patch every couple of months or so, we both just seemto get caught up in ourt own stresses of every day life and work etc, and it causes stress with us.When we do hit these bad patches, I really feel like I don't want to be with him. I feel like I would be happier without him. Then it's like the sun comes out and everything's great with us again and I wouldn't even dream of leaving him.I love him very much. But when he works away for weeks at a time, I don't really miss him that much. Is that just me being mature about it and not all love struck teenagery or is that telling me something? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (19 November 2007):
 Thank you for your update....
Yes - sometimes i also feel lacking. And sometimes i do feel that my relationship is lacking something special.
BUT - i just remind myself of how lucky i am to have this special human being LOVE me completely (with all my hangups).
I am often envious of other people and their relationships, but ALL people differ, and Opposites attract.
All my close friends are the exact opposite of me. When things get tough between my bf and me - the questions they usually ask, is: would you be able to live without him? Is he your begin all and end all? Now - i think that for you and me both, the answer to these questions, would be YES, and NO.
Yes, i would be able to live without him, and NO, he is not ABSOLUTELY everything in my life.
You are NOT alone in the way you think or feel...
good luck girl - and really - if you wanna chat on your good or bad days - mail me...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat was an excellent answer...How you feel about your boyfriend is how I feel about mine. I could see us getting married but when I hear people say how they think love is never wanting to be apart, I feel like I must be lacking! I;m very independant and don't NEED a man. But I do love him, I guess I hjust dwell and worry on how I feel when we argue or have a bad patch.
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A
female
reader, Mistify +, writes (16 November 2007):
Hi there
It might be one or the other, or a bit of both.
It is indeed very mature of you to be able to continue your life without your bf being around constantly, but i'd say that you need to at least miss him a little.
It is also very normal to WANT OUT when you have a bad patch, and to just continue on when you have a good patch. Thing to remember is that relationships, much as life, is like a rollercoaster ride. It has it's NATURAL ups and downs. The trick is NOT to create a false high, and keep yourself UP there while your cart is naturally on a downward slope. You need to accept the bad times, because they WILL happen, and you WILL get through them.
You seem like a very mature, independant and understanding person, and your boyfriend is definately happy to have you. You seem to be a fulfilled person even when he is NOT around, and that is the perfect place to be. Happy on your OWN.
Relax hun, you guys will be okay.
BUT in saying that, if you are having doubts about your feelings for him, then maybe you need to do some introspection, and figure out HOW much you feel for him.
I know my bf is THE ONE. But, i also know that i will be totally okay (after some time), if he wasn't there anymore. Only reason for this, is because HE DOESN'T complete me. He compliments me. And that is the perfect state of a relationship. OUT has never been an option in my current relationship. Yes sure, we have a stack of bad days, and sometimes i feel like i'll be happier without him,
BUT I KNOW that i don't want to leave. It is just not an option. If you feel the same way about your guy, then just GO FOR IT.
Good luck...
Mail me if you wanna chat..
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