A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:MY BOYFRIEND HAVE A FEMALE BESTFRIEND, WHAT ADVICE CAN YOU GIVE ME?
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male
reader, Andy00  +, writes (9 August 2007):
 I will say simply: Accept that she is his best friend and nothing more. If he wanted to be with her, he could, and most probably would have done, but he hasn't, he is with you.
Trust him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007): You asked a perfectly good question and I am wondering where in your posting, was it implied that you had 'trust' issues, as the below posting implied you had. So to carry on and answer your questions, this is what I have to say. Cross gender friendships can work out well and many of us can do it, with no backlash from our dating partners. As long as boundaries are in place, and one thing is remembered...that a man or the women involved in this friendship is not mistaking each other's friendship for 'sexual desire'. Of course, sex is not always the ulterior motive in cross gender friendships. However, some do make this mistake in cross-gender friendships and that is where the the mistrust and jealousies from love partners, come into play. He should have respect for your feelings, in order for you both to continue building the trust. The best way a guy can help his ladylove be comfortable with his cross gender friendship, is to think ahead and always get his dating partner involved with his cross gender friendship. He should make a point, of having the two females meet, socialize and spend time together. If he's the kind of guy who loves and respects his gf, he will want her to share in life, his social world and have her definitely meet all his friends...female friends included.
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A
female
reader, TheMusicStops +, writes (9 August 2007):
 It seems like you've got trust issues.
Do you not have male friends?
Its normal to have friends of the opposite sex.
TMS.
x.
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A
female
reader, VictoriaB +, writes (9 August 2007):
My bf has very good friend that is a girl. I really didn't like it- even though she is not even in this state lol.... They went to college together and he hasnt seen her in like 4 years but they talk once in a while. He said that if we went to that state for vacation or anything he would meet up and of course introduce me. He said he didn;t care if i became best friends with her. (that helped me so i wasn't so suspicious of their relatuionship). Other than that he says she knows about me/us, he talks to her about some issues we had and she tells him when he was worng, she tlaks aobut her bf and their stuff etc.
However, since it still bothered me lil bit, he said he would introduce me over the phone (which i find akward and we had some arguments lately so it hasn't happened yet).
What i want to say is that there really might not be anything more between them. Do all of you ever hang out? Do you tlak to her? These are the things you look at and they can give you some help or make it worse if this is not happening.
That is my opinion, hope it helps. I Perfectly understand you!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, caraduddy +, writes (9 August 2007):
 Mine did and she tried to split us up because she was accusing me of coming inbetween them. She seems to have a problem if he gets close with another girl. Although she doesn't fancy him she still has problems with him being with girls because she doesn't want anyone taking her place. Shes A B*tch anyway. But that might just be her others might not have a problem. See how it goes. Don't be too freaked out because lots of men and women are friends. It does't neceseraly mean anything fancy wize.
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A
female
reader, gcockerham +, writes (9 August 2007):
I dont understand why this is a problem. Im sure you would think he was being unrealistic if your best mate was a man and he didnt like it! Dont be so silly. My best friend of 19 years is a man and my boyfriend is totally cool with it.
Why do people always think that girls and guys cant be friends without somethign else going on?
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A
female
reader, lisa kathleen gates +, writes (9 August 2007):
 my bf's best mate is a girl and he only has a few good friends that r blokes really, this to me feals great cuz i know he is more understanding about girly stuff, period pains the usual stuff! i know he would never cheat because we love each other, i think that u will bond closer and not see this as a threat. dont let this get to you, dont be jellous because lets face it... would you like to be torn between your friends??? you could end up losing a good bloke.
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A
female
reader, i might be a girl but i can help +, writes (9 August 2007):
 well its normal for boys to have mates who are female. if you are worried that there might be cheating going on, talk to them both or just him.
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A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (9 August 2007):
Does one have to give up friends just because we move into more permanent relationships? I would only see those other relationships as a problem. If, or when, they took away from the new, ongoing commitment that he or she is now engaged in. I have male friends and female friends, but within those friendships. I know the acceptable boundries, and stay within them. I will say this, "His Best friend had better be you". And that is the only way you should be looking at your relationship. Okay, Relax and enjoy your togetherness.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (9 August 2007):
 Hmmm well it's not that unusual for people to have platonic friendships. Most people are able to distinguish the lines between friends and lovers so it shouldn't be a problem. If you have been dating this guy a short time, maybe you just haven't built up enough history with him to be regarded as his best friend yet. If it's been a while and you suspect anything is going on between them, then you need to tackle him over it. If you just object to him having girls as friends then it's something you have to either overcome or move away from.
I hope you sort it out
Aunty Em x
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