A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need your help i have bin going out with a 41 yr old with a 15 yr old daughter she doesnt want me in their lives i spoke to my partner who has said that we will ave to keep it a secret and that i carnt phone him while he around her the thing is he lives quite a distance away and we didnt see much of each other b4 i love him and dont want to lose wat we got cause we get on great when we together i dont no wat to do i feel like im losing him cause of her and i carnt do anything about it Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (20 March 2007):
 Hi,
How long has he been split with his wife for?. If its a long time, its possible the girl has just not grown to except this. She will in the end, but that could take some time. Kids can be very selfish, and will always try to get there own way. If its only recent that he broke up with his ex, he may be worried about you getting the blame.
You say you live away from him. Do you ever go and stay with him, or does he come to you?. If its the latter, I agree with the others I'm affraid it does smell a bit fishy. He could have a good reason, but telling you not to call him while she is there, doesn't sound like a good reason to me. How would she know it was you anyway.
I would be very carefull if I were you.
Best wishes XX
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2007): Does she think her dad is going to remain single for the rest of his life? does she think that her mam and dad will get back together, i think the latter, cos that is how kids think! If he meets someone then the chances of her mam getting back with dad are remote. Don't be pushed around like this. Say you are either his gf or not. There is a distance so you don't know just what goes on in their house. He may not want you to phone because he is going out with someone else. Someone that the daughter has met, sorry, but some people are cruel and devious Be careful with this one.Tell to be honest or to get lost!!
Take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2007): I am sorry but I smell a rat here. First off, he lives some distance away, so logically, you are not really interfering with his life with his 15 year old daughter. I think he is not really interested in a relationship right now and you are a long distance booty call....sorry to be so harsh, but you came here for an opinion from someone objective....I could be all wrong, but that is how it appears to me.
Secondly, his first love will always be his daughter, she will always come first with him, and don't blame her as the reason you might be losing him, because even though she is the first love of his life, if he really loved you and wanted to be with you, he would not let her stand in his way even so, as his heart would have room for the both of you, and his daughter would come to accept that you were part of her dad's life, and he knows that.
What to do? Don't agree to walk around and sneak around behind his daughter's back, if he is not that serious about you, then don't call him at all, see other men, and make him work to see you and accommodate what you want, which is a relationship that he does not keep hidden from anyone, including his daughter, she is not a baby, she is a teenager, and can cope with her Dad dating.
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